Going Forward in Many Ways Pt. 1

The past two weekends were actually a very good one if I do say so myself. Which was a surprise to me considering how my Russian was acting a few weeks back. Two Fridays ago during the day the Russian asked me what I wanted to do that night. I took it as maybe he wanted to do something different so I suggested a date night. Well he was accepting but then with certain time limitations we decided a date night would have to wait but we could just cook at my place and hang out. I had just finished getting myself put together when he got to my house. He then informed me we had been invited to Fred’s house to drink and just hang out. I had to change since my inside clothes would not have allowed me to survive in the coldness outside.

We picked up our own drinks and headed to Fred’s house. We were there for just a few hours, we had already agreed to just stay for a little while. Neither one of us wanted to run the risk of drinking too much and driving even though I had already been nominated for DD if we stayed late. When we left we picked up some food and went back to my house. That night we drank, watched movies and just had a pretty fun time together. He was talkative about different things and as it got later we both decided it was time for bed. He’s starting to cuddle with me more at night now which is really nice. That night he actually cuddled me and stayed more on my side than his. He was pretty playful with me before bed. Before I took my pants off he proceeded to smack my ass and then he took his belt off. He playfully spanked me with it and I responded with, “Don’t tease a girl with a good time.” Well he really started to spank me with it, then after I had taken my jeans off he actually spanked me with it. Uh, ouch but hot.

The next morning he woke up very early and then woke me up by placing my hand on his dick. Needless to say he got a BJ and then we went back to sleep. At some point he switched ends of the bed but was still lying next to me, I woke up and start scratching his legs and feet to fall back asleep. Well, he was still completely naked under the covers and he let me know it. I started giving him another BJ and then he asked me to get us a condom. We had sex, of course I was on top again, but he was more involved and attentive. I managed to actually have a few orgasms before he came. Afterwards we both showered and got dressed. I was expecting him to leave since he had his guys’ night later. Surprisingly he wanted to stay. So I made us lunch and he stayed till almost 7 p.m., we watched Hulu the entire time and cuddled on the couch. We didn’t even do anything sexual, just laid on the couch holding each other and talking.

The next day was the BBQ and so I got up Sunday morning to start making brownies. I was a little nervous I guess that the Russian would cancel on me, especially the last time he drank with this friend he had a very long hangover. But surprisingly he texted me to make sure I was up and then he came over. We got everything together and went to the BBQ. It actually was really fun, the man my Russian is friends with is actually a genuinely really nice guy. He made me feel really welcomed and was a great host. His family that was there were all nice and we had a pretty fun afternoon. We left after a few hours and went to the Russians. I helped him rearrange his furniture, clean and other things. I had offered earlier in the week to upload my Hulu account on his Xbox if he wanted me to (he already has my Netflix) so he asked if I would do that while I was there. I did and we started a new show he’s been addicted to that I really like too. He fixed us some ice cream and we just vegged out for a few hours. We fooled around for a little bit, I honestly wasn’t in the mood to give him a BJ because I was just tired from moving things. I ended up giving one but I wouldn’t fully deep throat him like he loves. Well, I actually wanted him to beg for it because I was just feeling sassy.

He ended up literally begging for it and he knew that’s what I wanted. Afterwards we laid on the couch for a while and then I headed home. I actually brought up the lack of foreplay on my part during one of our hangouts this week. It benefited me later on actually, which was really nice.

Tuesday he came over and we actually cooked together for the first time. We talked the entire time and it was funny watching him cook since he has openly admitted to never cooking before. It was a good meal and afterwards he did the dishes while I picked up the kitchen. I was so surprised he actually offered to hand wash the dishes. When my ex and I cooked he would never help with the dishes. He’d halfway help me cook and then dump everything in the sink for me. Another great reason I’m glad I left that man-child.

We started watching our show again after eating and I guess the Russian thought something was wrong with me. I was just being quiet and to myself which I’m sure threw him off. He kept asking what was wrong and why I was quiet and not fidgeting with him. I tend to fidget with my hand a lot so I’m always either scratching him or massaging him to not pick on my hair or hands. So he basically put himself all over me so I would fidget with him and he was doing some pretty cute things to get me to fidget. He’d lean back against me and rub his face against mine like and cat then say, “Are you gonna make me beg just for you to fidget?!” I gave in and he seemed relieved. We actually had a rare singing night. Somehow we just started listening to music and he began to sing for me. I don’t really think I have a good voice, I can harmonize really well but it’s just not my thing. Well he was really getting into it but also trying to teach me to sing higher and louder. Surprisingly, he liked me voice and thought it was really good. After a few hours of this we finally went to bed.

After joking around with each other in my bathroom, meaning he peed while I was in there and then wouldn’t leave until I went to the bathroom. Which was weird for me because I’m just an oddball. He slept on my side of the bed that night and we cuddled together the entire night. The next morning I tried to get up for work but he pulled me down to him and held me for a while longer. Then things got frisky, and in the end he got an extremely long blow job. That day was my weekly girls’ night so we did talk during the day and then that night we stopped. I figured it was because of that, he did send me a funny video on FaceBook later that night.

The next day he asked how the night went and all that. He did actually manage to ask me early in the day if I wanted dinner with him. We had a nice meal and then watched a movie at my house. We’re actually starting to watch some old gangster movies, since he hasn’t ever really watched them and bought this giant collection. During the movie he actually was extremely affectionate with me and we didn’t even drink that night. At some point he rearranged himself and pushed me to sit up so he could massage my back. After he did that for a while he leaned me back against him and just held me like that for a long time. Then eventually he was lying across my lap so I could rub his back for him. He’d keep asking for me to kiss on him or just to touch him. It was definitely odd for me to have him act this way. He also asked how we would be able to watch our favorite show when it comes back on, Game of Thrones, then suggested one of us get HBO again and we just split the cost. I was a little surprised just because this is somewhat of future planning but I agreed to it. He had decided to leave after the movie had ended but it was still fairly early. I was a little annoyed and disappointed with him, but it made sense and I got over it later. He did actually remember to let me know he was home but he knew I was annoyed so we didn’t talk any further.

Onto this past weekend….

Terrified of the Loving Feelings.


Why is love such a scary feeling? I’m absolutely terrified of allowing myself to love the Russian. In fact, I’m so terrified just writing this down makes my chest get tight and my breathing speed up. Is it I’m afraid he won’t ever feel the same way? Or, is it because I’m scared that the love will run out like it did with my previous relationship and then what? I know the reasons why everything failed in my past relationship. We moved things way too fast, we didn’t take the time to really get to know each other, we weren’t compatible at all sexually and I was so young. Love when you’re 19 is different than love when you’re more of a grown up.

Valentine’s Day did show me the Russian definitely cares for me and I think to myself he is falling in love with me. He completely surprised me this weekend, which was a really great thing. We didn’t see each other Friday night, which was fine since I had seen him three days in a row and had a sleepover. Saturday he woke up early to tell me “Happy Valentine’s Day” and we chatted the rest of the day. I had spent some time with my family since they came to my city for a day. I did some shopping and got a few gifts from my mom for this “special” day. The Russian was very curious who I was spending time with but never really asked me what I wanted to do for that night. Well as I was heading to my house he asked where I was and when I’d be home. I told him I had finished shopping and was heading home.

My best friend had called me to talk about her date the night before and catch up on things. As I pulled into my drive way I looked under my carport and there was my Russian sitting in his truck. I immediately tell my best friend he’s there and I’ll call her back. He helped me unload my car but wouldn’t let me come near his truck. I had gotten him an additional gift but it was in my front seat. As he unloaded the trunk of my car I darted inside. The remains of me making his surprise laid on my coffee table so I scrambled to clean everything up and tuck this away.

After unloading everything he went back to his truck then came inside with flowers and gifts. I was completely shocked and couldn’t stop smiling. He gave me three, long-stemmed red roses that I put in the vase he had made for me. The gift was a new blu-ray player that streams Netflix and Hulu for my room. He knew I had been bringing the one he got me for Christmas back and forth from the living room. He instantly went and set it up for me in my room. He also got me a pint of my favorite ice cream and some candy he knows I love.

For him I made him some “coupons” ranging from me making him dinner to sexual activities. I did include some blank ones he can use for whatever he likes. I also got the newest season of his favorite show, it comes out officially tomorrow so he has to wait but he knows about it. Then I got him a small cookie cake that said “Be Mine” on it. He seemed to really like everything and got a kick out of the coupons. He told me he was thinking of us doing something a little different than normal but wanted to see how I’d feel about it. He said we could eat dinner earlier than normal, start drinking a lot earlier than normal that would allow us to get really drunk (he said it would be his way of making up for disappointing me Thursday night) and watch some romantic movies. He brought over the only romantic movies he owns and we watched both of them.

It actually was a very fun afternoon and night. He got a surprise blow job early in the afternoon. We were sitting on my couch talking and joking with each other while waiting to get food. At some point he jokingly put my hand down his pants to mess with him. I did for a little bit then stopped. He dragged me to the hallway in my home where we stood together and made out quite heavily and passionately. At some point his pants were unzipped and his dick was out. He wasn’t expecting a full BJ but he was so responsive and I was pretty focused on doing a good job. He came pretty quickly and then we went to eat. We had a really nice meal and talked with each other for a long time. He told me about an incident that had happened with his mom that upset him. I like that he opens up to me about issues and we can talk through it.

I should mention the whole time he was with me in my house and at the restaurant he couldn’t keep his hands off me. I had been wearing these leggings that are a favorite of his and apparently make my ass irresistible. He took a lot of pleasure in slapping it or spanking me if I was “mouthing off” to him. I won’t lie, I basically was asking for it after the first few times he did it. Mainly by egging him on or saying he couldn’t make it hurt if he tried. FYI, a backhand to the ass is quite painful…but also quite the turn on too.

He was upset that his grandmother called his mom to ask if she wanted to do something for Valentine’s Day, his grandmother is a widow and his mother is single. His mom told her no apparently. He was a little upset because he thought she should do something with her since they both don’t have plans. He then told me he had thought about taking all of us to dinner but didn’t want to ruin the day for me. I did tell him I would have been perfectly okay with that but he said he knew it wouldn’t work well. She also had made some comments last week about the way he had treated me (she thought he was being mean and mistreating me) so he told her that’s why he doesn’t bring me around a lot because of this happening. It was a lot for him and I felt bad because he does have a kind heart, he just wants everyone to be happy but takes it hard when it doesn’t happen.

Once we got back to my house we put in the first movie and started drinking. It was such a fun night we literally spent the entire time talking, laughing, goofing off, kissing and just cuddling with each other. It was so nice because he’d just grab my face to kiss me and he’d hold me against him while rubbing me. He did unintentionally hurt my feelings with the way he said something but he instantly explained himself and pulled me back against him. We ate the entire cookie cake while sitting on the couch together. He told me what his actual favorite cookies are so I know what to do for his birthday. It was so nice for us to be completely relaxed with each other but keep things interesting and no weird or awkward moments. I was so shocked with the PDA he was giving me but I loved every moment of it.


We both achieved the goal of getting extremely drunk. We passed out on my couch together. He was holding me just like he use to and wouldn’t let me move if I tried to or if I wiggled around. Eventually at about 6 am we went to my room to actually sleep, that didn’t happen of course. Once we were both in bed and holding each other we started to both get turned on. I made my way down to give him another blow job, this one lasted a long time. He was back to trying to touch me and feel me. I wouldn’t let him and that drove him crazy. Mainly I was just trying to stick by what he said but also because I knew I’d be starting soon and if we had sex he’d make me start early. He kept begging me to go get a condom for him and I kept just shaking my head no. This drives him insane, completely insane.

After what I’d say was an hour of me sucking him and deep throating him, something we’ve discovered I can finally do well, he is now interested in seeing if and for how long he can, as he says, fuck my throat. It depends on how much I’ve deep throated him if he will be able to thrust his hips up or me just lightly move my head up and down. He pulled me up at one point so fast, slid my panties to this side and looked me very fiercely in the eyes. He kept his eye contact while he slid himself into me. I instinctively started to ride him in the way that makes me have an orgasm. Of course, him being inside me bare like that made him feel too close to orgasming so he pulled me off and wanted me to continue the BJ. I almost started but I saw I had bled on him some and told him I did. He was surprised I had started but I reminded him that I warned him earlier and he just told me to go grab a condom. I stopped and asked if he was sure, he then proceeded to push me off the bed, slap my ass and told me to hurry.

He put the condom on and I proceeded to getting on top of him and riding him. If I can be honest readers, I’m having a hard time reaching and having an orgasm with the Russian. I had seen something a while back from before we were exclusive, I know I shouldn’t care, but that really rubbed me the wrong way. Add in the fact he told me previously he was confused with his feelings and spiritual aspects have me all in my head when we are having sex. I don’t know if he’s aware of his or not yet. Well, the combination of a long blow job and the way I was riding him caused him to cum quicker than he expected. He even told me it was my fault since he was trying his hardest not to. He did take care of me afterwards and with him rubbing my clit gave me three orgasms. It took a little time though but once I have the first one the others continue to come a lot easier.

After he showered and I cleaned up we laid back down and attempted to sleep again. I passed out and slept some but when he doesn’t sleep well it wakes me up, so I would scratch his head, arms or back to help him relax. During one of these moments he rolls over a little, takes underwear off and put my hand on his cock. It shouldn’t have surprised me that he was hard. I gave him another long blow job, but this time we spent more time with me practicing deep throating and allowing him to thrust into my throat. I will say it got easier the more he did it but I did have moments I had to pull back. I kind of experimented with him being a little rougher with me. You know, telling him if he wanted me take it all he should be more forceful about it and other things like that. He told me he wanted to but was afraid of scaring me, I told I would let him know if it was getting too far. Once he came again he held me in bed for another 30 minutes or so. It was after 12 when we finally crawled out of bed. He actually surprised me and ended up spending the afternoon with me.

We laid on my couch and watched Netflix for several hours. At around dinner time he used one of coupons for me to go pick up food for us. He paid of course but didn’t want to leave the house. He left later that night so we could both shower and get ready for the dreaded Monday coming up.

It was a great weekend and the moments we had together really made me fall for him more. Which just scares me. Is it crazy or dumb of me to love this man? I really think he may finally be falling for me and I really want him to because I could maybe relax about all of this. I won’t tell him my feelings until we talk about his again. Is it bad I wish I’d have talked to him about it while we were drinking heavily? I know I would have gotten an honest answer from him about it.

At least this year for Valentine’s I actually had a man that wanted to do something and surprised me. That was a first in almost three years. I think back to last year when he revealed to me that he wanted to do something with me but wasn’t sure it would be possible for me to get away for the night. What a difference a year makes, huh?


Feelings and What? Pt. Two


I didn’t text him or anything when I got home. I just did things around my house and tried to keep myself busy. Well, surprise surprise, he started to text me. He was asking about my interview the next day and if I planned on doing a half day for work. I definitely got the feeling he was digging for me to keep the conversation with him. I wasn’t putting a ton of effort in my responses back.

Him: “Ted (creep from work) asked me, ‘How did you convince (me) to go out with the lowly likes of you lol’”

Me: “Seriously? What a creep.”

Him: “I didn’t answer…he put lol but still”

Me: “That’s just rude, he’s probably jealous you didn’t ask him out lol”

Him: “Gross…disturbing”

Me: “I know lol it still is so rude he even said that”

Thinking back to that it makes me wonder if maybe this “Ted” guy and his comment made the Russian stop to think about things. Ted had asked me out a few times before, when I had just ended my relationship, but I was never interested. He is the definition of creepy. I had told the Russian about him so he knows about him; it was funny to us because he works for the company we worked for.

Well, we talked basically that entire night. He was flirty with me and kept the conversation going himself. Well, I had my interview the next day and it went really, really well. He made sure to text me an hour or so after it to ask me how it went. We talked for a little bit and the conversation ended.

That was until he asked me out for a date that night. I was pretty surprised he wanted to see me, but it was nice he wanted us to go on an actual date. He told me the plans were for dinner and a movie that night. When he came over it was still fairly early, we decided on a later movie so we could eat beforehand and not be rushed. When I opened the door for him he instantly went in for a hug, I returned one but kept my butt poked out. As usual he put his hand on my lower back and pushed me against him. We had one drink before we left and sat at my kitchen table to just talk. He told me I looked extremely hot, which was the point, then when we saw the time we both agreed it was time to go. He grabbed my jacket and helped me put it on, which was a first for him to do. Of course, after he put it on me he slapped my ass.

He opened my doors, car and buildings, for everywhere we went. On the way to the restaurant he told me he was glad I had wanted to see him, especially with him being weird right now but that he really wanted to see me. When we got to the restaurant we were seated pretty quickly. He knows what I like to eat so he ordered an appetizer for us and then ordered our meal. We both agreed we’d want popcorn at the theater so we shared an entrée, plus I don’t eat large portions and he knows this. Over dinner we talked about all kinds of topics, it felt a lot like a date. It was nice to have that moment and kind of refocused everything. When he walked us to the truck he of course opened my door and once again, slapped my ass. So much for backing off the physical things huh?

After dinner we still had about 40 minutes till the movie, the theater is across the city so we took a long way to the theater and just listened to music together while playing with each other. It was really nice to have him flirting with me again and make me feel just genuinely wanted. He made me promise him I wouldn’t let him eat all the popcorn once we got into the movie, because we both tend to start really snacking if we have to wait a while before it starts. Once we were seated for the movie I put the popcorn on the other side of me so it was out of his reach. The theater actually filled up pretty quickly to our surprise. The movie itself was a very good one, we both really enjoyed it. During the movie he would put his hand on my knee and stroke it, he’d also fidget some until I would touch his hand or his arm. Of course, I was wearing tights so he hand to move his hand every now and then because it got hot pretty quickly.

The movie ended fairly late but he wanted to come inside my house afterwards. I wasn’t sure what to say but I let him in and I proceeded to sit on one side of the couch with my legs tucked under me but turned away from him. He sat beside me, turned the tv and we just talked for a while. Eventually he laid his head in my lap like he use to do, this time however I did not instantly rub his head or touch him. This I’m pretty sure bothered him because he’d reach up to touch me. Eventually he made me lay across his chest but still was able to keep his head in my lap. I laid like that but didn’t touch him or anything. Even though he was extremely hard and made sure to…make it move because he knows I like that. He was pretty persistent with touching me and being a little frisky but I kept telling him no and pushing his hand away. Eventually I’m sitting on top of him as we continue this game of cat and mouse. He got my bra off but I remained fully clothed. Well, as I’m sitting there we actually just joke and play together. He makes me play the airplane game with him, where I balance my stomach on his feet, and then a bunch of other different ways. It was actually fun for me and really reminded me of the old Russian. Well as he brings me back to sitting on his lap he pulls me down to him and proceeds to really kiss me.


He hasn’t just kissed me or made out with me in a long time so this was a big weakness for me. We kissed for a rather long time which was just amazing. At some point I sit myself up and he then proceeds to touch my breasts under my shirt, then he proceeds to suck on them. Well after a few seconds I regain my strength and lean back. He grabs my legs and puts my feet on his chest. Somehow I accidently hit his member and I immediately touched it and told him I was sorry. It didn’t hurt him because he was harder than a rock. Well he then asks me if I’d kiss it better. I get quiet and kind of look away.

Me: “You told me you didn’t want to do this anymore, I’m trying to respect your wishes.”

Him: “I know what I said and I probably shouldn’t have said all that. It isn’t that I don’t want you, I can’t help myself when you’re near me.”

Him: “I’ve had a really great time tonight so far, it’s been so much fun.”

Me: “I completely agree. Tonight really reminded me of the old you and I really liked it.”

I probably forgot to mention that he’s been getting deeper into his religion and has been reading about pre-marital sex and that’s a big reason why he wanted to take a big step back from the sexual things. Which I agreed with and said okay to doing because I felt it was important to further this relationship.

I told him that by him being this was really confused me because I want to do the date nights and then have nights together like this too. But I was trying to respect his wishes and not be all about the physical things. I asked him if the only reason he wanted me around was for this (hooking up). He got pretty upset and said no, that it isn’t even remotely true. I do believe him because we have many moments when we don’t do sexual things but it just throws me off when he’s like that.

Well we stop but then something happens and I basically tease him by sucking on his finger in a pretty provocative way. Well I do this for a few minutes, watching his mouth open slightly as his eyes closed and rolled up. Finally he yanked his hand away from me, stood up to go to my kitchen for gum, then came back and stood in front of me. He pulled me up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he walked us into my room. He shut the door a little then pulled me against him and started to kiss me again. He took my shirt off and I started to touch him. That’s the hardest he’s been in a long time, almost painfully hard. Just me touching him through his jeans made his body start to almost convulse instinctively. I slowly made my way to just touching him through his jeans and he continued to kiss me and grab my chest. He did try to touch me but I kept resisting him and telling him no. He was extremely persistent and didn’t like me telling him no. Finally I had him standing by my bed naked and me still partially clothed. He asked me if I’d suck his cock and well, we all know I can’t resist when he asks me like that. Plus, I adore this man and adore his cock. I kneeled down in front of him and slowly wrapped my lips around his head, just to tease him. I felt his whole body just relax as he moaned.

He grabbed my hair in his hands and let me stay kneeling for a little while. Then he pulled us up to the bed so we would be more comfortable. He took my high waist shorts off so I was just in my tights while sucking him. After a while he pulled me up to face him and he grinded himself against me while I was in the tights. He loved the fabric, it was something he hadn’t experience before and I’d say he liked the way it felt. Somehow he slid himself into my tights and proceeded to grind himself against the outside of my entrance, no penetration at this point. It feels great and he moans as he says, “God, you’re so wet and I haven’t touched you yet.”

After we do that for a little while I move back down to continue giving him a BJ. As I said before I can now deep throat him and he’s starting to be able to thrust a few times while I’m doing that. It’s still taking some practice but I’m getting there, as I told him we would. He moves on the bed and pulls me back up to do what we had been doing. While doing that he slowly slides into me. I had to remove the tights after a while, sadly. We didn’t use a condom this time, of course we said we’d get one after just a second but everyone knows that doesn’t happen. We proceed to have pretty passionate sex. He’s touching me and being very responsive and vocal. He also directs me in a way he wants me to be on top of him, because of the amount of foreplay we had and the fact he had an erection for at least two hours he couldn’t hold back any longer. He told me before he came so I was able to move down and finish him with my mouth.

I wasn’t able to have an orgasm during the sex, I came close but it just didn’t happen. As I rolled off of him I distanced myself a little since I know how he is but he instantly grabbed me and pulled me close to him. He continued to play with me until I had three orgasms. When he finished he brought his fingers to my mouth and I proceeded to suck myself off of him. He did surprise me because he held me for a while afterwards. Rubbing my arm, side and playing with my hair while just holding me. He kissed my forehead and then went to rinse off. Neither one of us realized it was basically 4 am at this point so after he rinsed off and got dressed I put on some sweat pants and a tank top, we went to the living room for a little bit to talk and then I walked him out. We kissed and hugged good bye.

I had this feeling of worry and regret because after the week I had I promised myself no more sexual things with him. Especially since that is what he wanted. The next day I didn’t hear from him till later that night asking what I was up to.

Him: “Do you feel like hanging out with an old man?”

Me: “I don’t think I’d mind that, you want some company?”

Him: “Love some”

Him: “I’m planning to go to church in the morning if you wanna come too”

Me: “I’d like that a lot…should I bring stuff with me or will I be coming back to my house tonight?”

Him: “Just bring stuff”

So I went over there and we actually had a fun night together. We watched a movie and had a few drinks before going to bed. I wasn’t sexual with him and kept things from getting there. Well he had set an alarm for us and told me to make sure he was up at a certain time. He’s been having a major issue sleeping so when the alarm went off he woke me up and I sat up to start getting ready. That’s when he told me in the saddest voice that he got no sleep at all. So I sat back in the bed and then he just made me lay down. Well he was on his phone typing then handed it over to me:

Him: “I’ve been up since 5:30 and can’t fall back asleep…will you help me go to sleep?”

Me: “How can I help you fall asleep?”

Him: “BJ”

I let out a little groan and laugh then set his phone down, he grabbed it from me.

Him: “Please 😦 “

Me: “I guess I could help a little”

I did help him fall back asleep. He got a pretty hot BJ that lasted about 30 minutes. He also was very interested in touching my hair, face and breasts. After he came he held me for a little while and then we both passed out. Once we got up we spent a little more time together. Watching tv, talking and him showing some designs he had down for his business. After a few hours I left and went home.

He did text me later that night. This week he’s talked to me every day, and actually kept a conversation with me. Two days ago he asked if I wanted to go walking in his neighborhood and I of course did. We did several miles until it started to get colder and darker. We talked the entire time and he was very protective over me while walking. He kept moving me away from traffic and making sure I was safe from vehicles. After he asked if I wanted to go to his mom’s house and see what they were doing. So we went in there and I ate dinner with him and his mom. His sister had left after a little while but it was nice to feel included. After we ate, we all visited for a little while longer and then I got up to leave. His mom walked us out, hugged us both, and the Russian walked me to my car. We were playful and kissed goodbye a few times. Nothing physical happened, we just spent some time together. Once I got home he started texting me and asking me about my work schedule so he would know if we could go walking again this week.

Of course we talked basically all night. Yesterday we talked during the day and then he asked me to go walk with him again. We did and were probably even more playful. At one point, because it was chilly, he kept putting his cold hands on my neck and under my shirt so I tried to retaliate and we ended up chasing each other a few blocks. It was probably the most fun I’ve had in a long time with him, just being in that moment and honestly not caring who was watching or what we looked like. Well, after that we went back to his place to shower, change and then get some food. After I showered he was playing his video game so when he went to shower I continued playing. After his we talked about dinner, ordered food and waited to go pick it up he turned on a show he had been watching. I set up my Netflix account at his house and since he’s had trouble sleeping he’s been watching it late at night.

On the way to get dinner he told me that if for some reason he isn’t really playful or cheery with me later it’s because he’s just tired. I told him I appreciated him telling me that and if he didn’t really feel like having company I’d understand and it wouldn’t be a big deal. He said that wasn’t the case at all he just didn’t want me to get my feelings hurt if he wasn’t playful. Well, it turned out he was still pretty playful and in a good mood. After we ate we kept watching this show of his and talking. After a few episodes he asked me to make a drink and I was about to until he made me lay on the pillow in his lap. He started to really slap my ass, to prove a point after I gave him a hard time about not doing that very hard. Once he gave me three or four extremely hard slaps he then started to just play with my hair. It was fun because we basically goof off with each other and it isn’t weird. As usual, he did take my bra off. I jokingly tried to block one of my boobs from him and in the cutest voice he said, “Stop it, I just want to play.” So I let him continue with that. He did at one point try to get his hand down my pants but I wouldn’t let him touch me. He was very persistent and didn’t like me telling him no. He kept changing the name for it as a joke we do, but he wanted to just touch my clit. Well I kept my strength and didn’t let him. He once again had a massive erection and made sure I was aware of it in ways only he can do. He eventually laid down with his head by my feet and my head in his lap. He just rubbed and massaged my legs for a while and I proceeded to playfully poke him in his belly button. It’s weird but something I enjoy doing when he lets me.

In typical Russian fashion he put my hand directly onto him and said if I was going to fidget and play with something than it needed to be something useful. I didn’t really respond to the comment and didn’t move to instantly grab him. That got to him and he made another comment then unbuttoned his pants to free his member. I proceeded to lightly touch it but nothing more. He asked me if I saw something that happened on the show and I reminded him at the angle I was at I couldn’t see it. So he sat me up and tried to position me so he was basically lying between my thighs. I knew where that would lead so I moved and had him just lay in my lap. He laid me forward so I was lying across his stomach/chest. I continued to play with him using just my hands until he brought the head of his cock to my lips.

I don’t know if it was the angle, the fact all the lights were still on or because we were 100% sober but that particular BJ really rocked his world. At one point while I was sucking he asked if I still wanted a drink, I told him I did and he said he’d make one but he may have to take me with him. I figured that would probably a fun thing to try and do. So I nodded and kept doing what I was doing waiting for him to wiggle around and us move. Well, I must have changed pressure or a movement on him because not even 30 seconds later he was telling me he was coming, not the “I’m going to” he normally gives me, he literally just couldn’t stop it. After as he laid in my lap he told me he wasn’t sure what happened but I did something and it just couldn’t be helped. That was probably one of the quickest ones I had given him, long foreplay helps make him reach his orgasm easier. Which I don’t mind giving him long BJs but my jaw appreciated the break for once.

The rest of that night we had one drink, a rather strong one, and then continued watching this show and talking. When it was time for bed he actually slept in a normal position with me that he hasn’t done in a while. Typically for him to get comfy he’d lay the opposite direction of me. By that I mean his head are by my feet and his feet are by my head.  Well he actually slept next to me and I got to rub his head and scratch his back till it put us both to sleep. When I woke up this morning I was just excited he slept next to me like that all night that well, I rewarded him with another BJ. However, this one lasted an hour and a half. It was pretty intense and he could have come a lot sooner but when he asked if I was “ready for some cum” I shook my head no and slowed my pace. He groaned loudly and told me that I was the boss and for me to tell him when he could. I didn’t deep throat him as much because that makes him go pretty quickly.

After “torturing” him for a while longer I asked if he was ready to cum and he showed me that he was ready. After he held me for a little while and then I got up to start getting ready for work. He rolled over to my side of the bed, buried himself under the covers and said, “I’m so comfortable…going back to sleep now.” I got ready for work in his bathroom and when I finished I hated waking him up to tell him bye but he woke a little and told me he was dreaming. He hasn’t slept good in a while so I left quietly.

I will say I’m glad I resisted his advances for more than what we did, I should probably decline doing those as well but I enjoy it just as much. He’s more than likely still asleep so I’ll wait to hear from him.

And that’s my life up to today…literally. I was a little over an hour late to work but I’m leaving this job after next week and well, no one cared. Plus, it was so worth it.

If anyone has any thoughts they’d like to share or any suggestions/opinions on what’s been going on with the Russian feel free to share! I’ll say things are going in a good direction, but we will see what good ole V-Day holds for us. Wish me luck!

You Are Mine Part One


Well it’s all official now. The Russian is officially mine now. What is he you may ask, because there are many things he has been and could be. Well, in his own words I’m his “girlfriend” and no longer available. While he, being a grown man in his 30s I don’t feel like boyfriend is the right term for him. My man? Significant other? Or is boyfriend acceptable? I just like calling him mine.

I’m sure you’re interested in how that conversation happened and the events leading up to it. Well last week was a rough one for him. The reality of him quitting his career to start up something new really hit him and he started to let his moods get to him more. So I just offered my support to him and let him express any emotions or doubts he had about this decision. I think over the course of the week it brought us closer because he realized he didn’t have to worry about me judging him or not wanting to be around him.

Towards the end of the week (we had our usual sleepovers earlier in the week) I asked him what his plans were for that Thursday night. He casually mentioned seeing some family of his but didn’t invite me. Which did upset me a little but he had brought me to his family’s church the previous Sunday so I knew he was making progress. Well when he told me there were doing something I just said okay and continued with our conversation. At some point we hit a little sweet part and then he asked if I’d like for him to come by after his family stuff, I said sure and he came by around 7 p.m. that night.

The family event didn’t really go that well since several members didn’t show up and he was a little stressed about the holidays. So we just turned on the tv, fixed some drinks and started talking. The talking is mainly what we did all night. Not about anything specific for a while, which is what I like, we just talked about anything that came to us. Well as it got a little later and the conversations got a little deeper. As we were sitting on my couch he pulls me on his lap and just holds me close to him and leans me back so my right ear is next to his mouth as he talks.

Him: “I know I’m not good at showing you the appreciation and affection you deserve but I hope you can tell I’m trying to get better at it.”

Me: “I can tell that you are and I really like it. You are an affectionate person whether you realize it or not.”

Him: “I hope you also know just how much I care for you. I really do and want it to be something you know.”

Me: “I had hoped you cared for me, it’s something we’ve never really discussed so I’m just not sure of what you’re feeling sometimes. Especially since you mentioned you weren’t sure what you were feeling for me.”

(Keep in mind that during this conversation we are basically whispering back and forth to each other while he caresses my back and plays with my hair)

Him: “I like you. Obviously.”

Me: (laughing) “Well, I like you too.”

Him: “No, I mean I really, really like you. A lot. You’re so sweet and amazing. And I like you a lot.”

Me: “I like you a lot too of course.”

Him: “You know what I mean though by saying that.”

Me: “Uh, that you like me?”

Him: “No, not just like you. But I don’t want to scare you away by saying it so fast.”

(I finally realized what exactly he meant)

Me: “That’s something you say when you really want to. Don’t say it if you aren’t ready because that’s something that carries a lot of meaning and responsibility.”

He then leans me back and smiles, “You’re so mature for your age it blows my mind.” He then leans into me so I’m holding him against me.

Him: “I want to say it but I just don’t want to scare you.”

Me: “You wouldn’t scare me but you’ll say it when you’re ready.”

He then again leans back and looks at me while pushing my hair back behind my ear.

Him: “So when are we going to make this thing official?”

Me: “Make what official?”

Him: “Oh don’t play dumb! You know what. This. Us. Are you ready for this to be the real thing?”

I stare back at him, contemplating between kissing him and slapping him. Really Russian?

Me: “I would really like that. I’d like it more if it was something you wanted as well.”

Him: “I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t. So, are you going to be my girlfriend? Officially and everything?”

Me: “I would really like to be. Yes.”

Him: “Good, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear. Now, how do you want to tell people? Just tell our friends or would you like to make it “FaceBook official?” Because I’m okay with either one.”

Me: “To be honest, I’d like both. That way people will know and we won’t have to do a huge announcement.”

He then proceeds to take his mobile phone out and post it on Facebook. When it asks for your anniversary date he jokingly says, “Well should we put 2013? Because technically that’s when we started seeing each other.”

I glare at him and remind him that he’d have to put a break up one around December till February for when he disappeared. He laughed and asked if I’d ever let that go. I’m sure you can guess that answer dear reader.

Well after we cuddled more and talked he asked if I was tired and ready for bed. I did have work the next morning and was a little tired. So he took me to my room and we laid in bed together with him holding me. He then asks me if I’m really sure it’s what I want to be with him, I tell him yes of course it is. We then do that gross thing couples do when they go back and forth saying why they want the other person. We do this and just kiss until we both pass out.

The next morning we talked about it some because I wanted to make sure he still felt the same way and wasn’t making a mistake. And in typical Russian fashion he said no but he was a little worried about my job and if they would say anything. I reminded him they knew about him and it was okay. Well we leave my house, I’m in my car and he’s in his truck. This was our conversation that morning:

Him: “I’m worried for you that it says it’s me”

Me: “Well then take it off.”

Him: “I want it to say you’re taken though :)”

Him: “Check yours”

Him: “Were you not worried about work?”

That’s when I saw he took the names off the relationship status. It said we were both taken but no names.

Me: “Not really since they know about you.”

Him: “Want me to put it back then?”

Me: “That’s up to you.”

Him: “Be careful!” (I had passed him on the road)

Him: “Let’s leave it for people like your nosy friend lol”

Me: “Leave it like it is?”

Him: “It’s up to you”

Him: “I was kidding as in leave it so she still can’t see who you’re dating just to rub it in.”

Me: “She can’t see anything, I blocked her remember?”

Him: “Is that a real question?”

Me: “It’s rhetorical, I know you don’t remember anything lol”

Me: “Let’s just leave it, that’s obvious you feel better doing it that way.”

Him: “Only if it doesn’t bug you in the slightest”

Me: “It doesn’t. You don’t work for the company, you left. So it’s not an issue they can even bring up. Plus, like I said they know about you.”

Him: “So add it?”

At this point my level of aggravation was so high my coworkers were concerned something was really wrong.

Me: “Lol is it what you want to do? I don’t want you to add it if it bugs you. It doesn’t bother me at all but I don’t want you to add it if it isn’t what you want.”

Him: “It’s just less for the nosey people to talk about…it’s blowing up btw lol”

Me: “Okay.”

I had decided at that point when I saw him again in person I would suggest he rethink this relationship if he was already worried about my work seeing it. Then he texted me.

Him: “Check your Facebook”

I look to see he had added me to his relationship status.

Me: “I appreciate that.”

Him: “It obviously didn’t shut anyone up so what’s the point lol”

So there you go. This whole thing is now completely official and the Russian is now…mine I guess you could say. And in turn I’m his, which is what I have been wanting for a while now.

This is the part where I break the post into two parts. I’ll be posting the second part shortly dear readers!


It Doesn’t Even Matter How Hard You Try

It has been such a long time and I’m so sorry for it! I can’t post at work and since I only have an iPad at home for now posting can be really time consuming or nearly impossible. If only IT would just allow WordPress life would be great! Well, what can I say about the past few months? Crazy, amazing, time consuming, full of emotions, happiness and really just a little bit of everything.

Up until I officially moved out the Russian and I carried on seeing each other about two to three times a week. Doing the usual things we had been doing. You know, eating, drinking, entertaining each other and having magnificent sex. Well once I officially moved out things started to shift and change, in a positive way. Unless one of us was going out of town we see each other almost every day. We also have more recently started going on “official” dates. Dinner and a movie, then maybe pick up something from Redbox and go back to one of our houses to spend the night with each other.

More recently we had what I call a “weekend date” with each other. Saturday morning he asked me what I was doing for the day and when I said nothing he asked me this:

Him: “Gonna shower, go work out, pick up some paint and finish everything up. You’re invited to join if you would like :)”
Me: “That might be fun lol what time?”
Him: “Later, I’d like to shop a little bit, eat and go see a movie. Meet here in an hour?”
Me: “I think I can handle that”
Him: “Ok cool, want to bring your stuff for tonight and get ready here or go back home?”

I had told him I’d get ready there but I would need to let my dog out before dinner for the night and he brought me to take her out like I asked. We worked out together for the first time which was interesting because this was one of the first things we’ve done in broad daylight together. Afterwards we bought some paint stuff for his place and I helped him with a few of those things. I had to meet my mom and drop some things to here during my time there but I came back to his house after.

He was taking a break and lying on the couch when I got back.
He laid me on top of him to watch TV with him, but of course he had some ulterior motives.

He slid his hands down my shorts to play with my clit until I orgasmed. Then, he proceeded to undress me and undress himself. We were on the couch so of course I got on top (more on that later) and we proceeded to have some amazing sex. I recently discovered how much he loves when he slides out of me and I slowly put his dick back inside me without either of us using our hands. It feels great to me but I love watching his facial expressions when it happens. His mouth opens slightly and his eyes roll back while he lets out the sexiest moans. While we don’t use condoms as often we still will every now and then but at that moment we just didn’t.

After we recovered from the sex we continued finishing up the project we had been working on until we decided what to do for the night. This was the first time I had ever really showered and got ready at his house (or any other guy’s house for that matter!) so I was a little uncomfortable at first. I had my little overnight bag and was pretty conscious of leaving things on his counter top in the bathroom.

After I showered and started drying my hair, he jumped in the shower while I was getting ready and we just joked around with each other the whole time. I had brought a pretty dress and heels to wear (since our first movie date I wore jeans and a t shirt) so when I finished I felt pretty confident in how I looked.

But boy, when I saw him all dressed up I had to control myself from jumping him right then and there. He is so handsome it kills me sometimes. He complimented me and then we went to dinner and a movie. The movie wasn’t that impressive at all, sadly. Neither one of us was crazy about it and we both laughed it off. When we got back to his place we decided to fix drinks and watch another movie. It was much better even though we got heavily intoxicated.

I haven’t had the opportunity to mention this is a blog yet but there is something he does sometimes when I spend the night that bothers me some. I’ll stay over there a few nights a week since I can now and he doesn’t want me drinking and driving. Well, some nights he will sleep the entire night with me but there have been other times when he will sleep on the futon couch that is next to the bed.

I’d have to explain the layout of that room but he can see me in the bed and I can see him. Well, he does this because he claims he gets hot and doesn’t want to keep me up all night. Well, I’ve expressed this before to him and it still doesn’t always sink in but we will get to that later. That night he did sleep with me the entire night which was really nice and unexpected as well.

We had sex that morning, which was good sex but I think if he doesn’t initiate it in the mornings he isn’t fully awake or into by the time I’m ready when I initiate it. I had planned on leaving at about 11 that morning after we had gotten up but he asked me if I would stay and help him with some other errands he wanted to do. Which I did and it actually was a lot of fun. We ate lunch together afterwards while watching one of the many football games that were on that afternoon.

We started working on some of the projects he wanted to get done and got it all finished at a decent time. At some point, we had sex again and I will say this one was actually a little painful. Still completely enjoyable but I had to make him take it easier with me. The rest of our time together we spend just being lazy together and playing with his dog around the house. I ended up staying there until later that night but he didn’t seem to mind it at all.

Well, last night we spent time together at his friend’s house which was nice. We ate and drank for a little while until we both were ready to leave. We had discussed it earlier so I went with him back to his house to just hang out together. He upset me a little last night and I’m still trying to get over that.

At some point I mentioned to him I wanted to ask him something but was a little embarrassed to do so. I have an event coming up and asked if he wasn’t busy this weekend I’d like him to go with me. I knew from the moment it came out he wasn’t going to say yes. After I initially asked he asked a few questions about it and then said he had a wedding out of town and if his guy friend wasn’t going to go he wanted me to go with him. I kind of said okay to that and didn’t bring it up. We both kind of fell asleep (we had been drinking for a while at this point) and I was laying on top of him.

When we both woke up everything was good and we were playful like normal. We even had sex and it was amazing, I prefer when he is really into it and more vocal with me which he was that time. Afterwards, I laid beside him while we caught our breath and he complimented me for the first time on the sex itself and I jokingly said that. He played back with me and then got up to shower.

I got dressed and resumed lying on the couch waiting for him to come back. Well, he brings up me asking him to this event and I told him I figured it was a “No” considering he didn’t answer or seem enthused I had asked. He told me he was happy I asked and wants to go but with our current work situation and the fact we are coworkers (for the time being, as he may be leaving the company rather soon) makes him hesitant.

But that isn’t what bothered me. I can accept that even though this company doesn’t care if coworkers date or are married, especially if you are in different departments as we are. What bothered me is he brought up the other girl he had been seeing previously. He mentioned that since their history and the fact his office is next to hers he didn’t want to cause any problems. That I have an issue with, because to me he is being too considerate to another person’s feelings than my own. And he told me he wants to bring me to an event their career field hosts every year but if he is still with the company at the time and she is there it might be weird.

My thought process is who fucking cares? Eventually this other girl will see him and I together either in public or on Facebook and if there is nothing there it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. In my mind, it comes off as he doesn’t want her to know he’s seeing me because he is still seeing her. Even though he has told me he isn’t I’m still concerned about that. Ask me if I said this to him? Nope. I was on a completely different level of mad at that point so I was aware it would be better for me to just hold off.

It didn’t help that he said, “I will come get you after it is over and bring you home when you’re drunk.” I looked at him and said no thanks, I’ll be fine. He then proceeded to tell me not to be that way and that he wants to pick me up. He then starts to become all lovey dovey on me telling me he doesn’t want me to be upset with him, that he really wants to go and is happy I asked him. He also says he doesn’t like the idea other men may try to dance with me.

I completely shut myself off from him at that point. I just couldn’t allow myself to get comfortable around him anymore that night. He made me lay down beside him so he could, I guess comfort me? I’ll try and bring it up the next time I see him just so I can get it off my chest. Considering I know I’m going to be distant with him for the time being. Once it was time to leave I just didn’t have it in me to be playful or sweet at that point but he proceeded to me. Kissing me a few times and hugging me while telling me to be careful and to text him when I got home.

As soon as I left and got on the road home I just started to cry a little. It’s like every time I think things are going good and we make progress something comes up. I just couldn’t hold it in at that point and had to let it out. He then sends me a text that is a screenshot of a movie he wants to see with me and I tell him that one looks good. When I got home I considered not telling him but didn’t want him to worry so I just said I was home. He then responded telling me to have sweet dreams and a cute nickname. Then today he’s been texting me.

I can see some of his reasoning but my god, I got out of an almost five and a half year relationship and my ex has already moved on to the point he doesn’t hide it from anyone, including me. I guess I don’t see the need to be considerate to someone he didn’t even officially date and even claims he saw no future with at all. Ugh. Thoughts?

I know this is a lot to take in and written in two parts pretty much, but when I ended it yesterday afternoon everything was going well and I was a little excited to ask him about this weekend.

I guess it’s just another reminder that he isn’t really mine yet, and it must mean I’m not his either.

Well, That Was Awkward


Monthly visitor be damned, I finally got my orgasms.

After our get together the other night I was unsure if I would see him again this week. Mainly because we are both busy and I was still on my period.

I had a meeting that ran a little late last night so by the time I got home I was a little tired and looking forward to showering and curling up in bed with a glass of wine. But after I showered I saw my Russian had sent me a text. We were talking back and forth like this:

Him: “Whatcha doing?”

Me: “Just got out of the shower, you?”

Him: “Just got a massage. Talking with my buddy right now.”

Me: “Well that must be nice!”

Him: “Feel like watching one of those movies tonight?”

(He recently bought a few new movies)

Me: “Hmmm I would say so”

Him: “Put on some jeans and get over here”

Me: “Lol I’ll get dressed now. And jeans? It’s hot!”

(I always forget he likes me in jeans)

Him: “Not in my house”

Me: “Fine, but only because you asked :)”


Well I finished getting dressed and made my way over to his house. I’m not sure where my ex was but I really just wanted to see the Russian. I get there and see him standing there in just jeans and no shirt on brushing his teeth. Holy shit, I almost jumped him right there. He puts a shirt on (to my disappointment) and makes us drinks. I look through the movies he bought and picked one out for us to watch.

As he’s fixing us drinks he mentions to me that the guy he was visiting with runs a local business that I go to fairly regularly for lunch and he tried to suggest setting my Russian up with me. The Russian said, “Yeah he told me about you and asked if I knew you. He said you’re really pretty, seem super sweet and have a great job. And that he didn’t see a ring on your finger. So he was trying to think who he could set you up with and then he realized we worked together so he thought of me.” He jokingly said he told him hell no, and then told me, “I gave him shit at first because I’m single and one of his best friends but I wasn’t his first thought to set up with you. Then I told him you were the one I had been spending time with. He couldn’t believe you were the one I had been talking about.”

Well, there’s another person who knows about us now. To what extent, I’m not sure but the Russian is becoming more comfortable with telling people about us it seems. I also tell him about what happened to my lip and that I’ve never had that happen before. It finally went away but I made him laugh when I said, “How would I even explain that if someone noticed? Oh yeah, I just was sucking some serious dick and he bruised my lip??!” He literally almost fell over laughing. He said that’s one thing he can scratch off his bucket list. I smacked him for that.

Once he makes us drinks we start the movie, it was decent but we talked a lot throughout it. We also really played with each other a lot. I think I’m becoming more comfortable with him again so it allows me to be silly and joke with him more. I also opened up about some of my own personal weird tendencies and he seemed okay with it. He actually told me stuff about himself so it made me feel better about my own weirdness. We really just had fun with each other during this movie, talking and joking with each other. He would be a smart ass with me and then he would be sweet on me. Which is something I really like and I do that too.

Once the movie officially ended we just turned the TV to regular satellite and put it on a random channel. At some point he asks me if I have a problem with his bathroom. Now, I just have an issue with using the bathroom at a guy’s house in general. I don’t really feel comfortable with it, plus I can normally hold it for a long time if necessary. Well he goes on to tell me he wishes I would be comfortable enough to use his bathroom and he always makes sure it’s clean when I come over. And I will say he has an immaculately clean bathroom so that always impresses me.

After we talk for a little bit more I start to kiss on him and rub his dick. I love when he dirty talks too, it is super sexy. After we do this for a little while he asks if I will put him to bed. I laugh and tell him yes.

We walk to his bed and he lays down with me on top of him. We start to kiss deeply and I continue to rub his dick. Doing so immensely turned me on. At one point I just say “Fuck” out loud and he asks me what’s wrong. I tell him that I just want him so bad, he asks if it’s still a bad time and I say yes. He reminds me that he doesn’t care about that and we can just use a towel. Now, I’m still not comfortable with that and I tell him I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to relax enough. Well after some coaxing on his part I grab a condom from his drawer, lean back and go to the bathroom.

When I come back he tells me to grab a towel and he puts it underneath him. I pull his pants off and start to suck on his dick. He then start to undo my pants and slides them off of me. I reach for the lube he keeps and he pours some in my hand. I rub it onto his cock and then he opens the condom packet and slides it onto himself. I position myself on top of him and slowly slide him inside me. It has felt like weeks since we’ve had sex so I had to take it slow at first, but we fell into a rhythm rather quickly. He made me cum several times and managed to take control a few times while I was on top. He still holds onto my throat and pulls my hair when I’m on top which drives me crazy.

Probably my proudest moment was the fact that I did make him come while I was not only on top but also that it didn’t take me a long time to do so. It probably had to do with the fact I made him come a day and a half ago. I pulled out my best girl on top move and I guess he couldn’t resist it. I try not to bring that one out because I know it will cause a guy to come fairly quickly. He came inside me, with a condom on mind you, and I rode him the entire time. Afterwards, I almost passed out with him inside me. He pulled me to one side of him and laid me on his chest. We passed out like that and I loved it. He normally gets up right afterwards and doesn’t do the post-sex cuddle. He has lately though.


After a few hours I start to try to see what time it is and he does his usual squeeze me tighter and not let me move thing. So I just lay there with him for a little while. I can’t wait till we can really spend the night with each other and not worry about time.

Eventually he gets up to go to the bathroom and start to get dressed. He’s just in his t-shirt and nothing else which is super sexy. We kiss and hug goodbye then I leave.

Now this part is somewhat embarrassing and if you can relate, let me know so I can feel better.

As I’m driving back I get a text:

Him: “Where did the condom go? I got up and tossed it?”

Me: “Yeah you did…or I thought so??”

Him: “Shit…I remember cumming but not tossing. Apparently I did lol”

Me: “You can’t find it? Lol I thought you did toss it at some point”

Oh but he didn’t. I get to my house and realize why I was feeling weird. Yes, that’s right, the condom was still inside of me. That has never happened before so I was slightly freaked out and didn’t know if I should tell him. I didn’t really want to but decided it would be best.

Me: “Ummm I found it.”


I sent that and passed out. Then bright and early this morning he sent me a text back.

Him: “No way. That crossed my mind”

Me: “Yeah well that had never happened before but it crossed my mind so I thought I’d check”

Him: “Kinda defeated the purpose! Unless the end was out”

Me: “Lol! I just was not expecting that at all”

Him: “I’m guessing that means it wasn’t….”

Me: “No it was!”

Him: “Oh lol that’s a plus”

Him: “So you were just carrying around a little baggy of…good thing you didn’t get a full cavity search!”

Me: “Why would I get a full cavity search?! And yep, I knew I felt…kinda weird but I just thought well it had just been a little while lol but that’s what that feeling was apparently”

Him: “You would get one if I pulled you over. Wow lol.

Me: “Hmmm that would be fun lol”

Him: “Perve ;)”

Me: “You know you like it ;)”

Him: “Yes I do”

Me: “:)”


I will say that made me feel a lot better that he wasn’t acting weird or grossed out by it. But still!! I did not know what to do or think about that. But I guess it’s all progress. He’s more open with me now and I really appreciate it. Let’s just see how it all goes this weekend.

What about you? Ever have a condom left behind inside you or someone else? Was it awkward explaining it? Or even finding it?! I’m up to hearing your embarrassing stories as well!

Making Progress


So since my last update and the wonderful arrival of my monthly visitor the past week has been interesting to say the least. Let’s pick up from Thursday shall we?

Thursday. I decided to go out to a pretty popular hangout with a few of my friends, mainly to get out of the house and to get my mind off things. I hadn’t really heard from the Russian. I sent him a text the day before and he half-heartedly responded so I just left it alone. Then on Thursday he came by my office asking if I knew where another employee was. I was a little short with him because I was annoyed with him, and he did surprise me. Of course he did text me afterwards.

Him: “If you’re too short with me people may get suspicious ;)”

Me: “Well you normally don’t come to my office so I was surprised lol”

And that was it. So back to Thursday night. I hadn’t heard anything else from him and I was getting fairly drunk early on in the night. I ran into the ex while out, which made things a little awkward at first. Then later into the night the Russian texts me and asks where I am. I tell him and ask where he is. As it turns out he is at the same place. He asks me to come see him and drunk me happily obliged. When we found each other it was pretty instant that we could not keep our hands to ourselves. He introduced me to the group he was with, they all seemed really nice and maybe a little impressed with me. He then asked if I wanted a drink and I told him so he walked me to the bar.


Now, do remember dear reader my ex was at this point still at the same place. Maybe. So we get to the bar and order drinks. We both then start to touch on each other in small ways. Then some members of his family walk up and he introduces them to me. A little later one of my friends got tired and asked if I’d bring her to her apartment right down the road. I told the Russian and he asked if I would come back, which I did.

I get back and then we really start to get frisky with each other. I slowly started to kiss on him and he did the same to me. We then also started to whisper back and forth to each other about what we wanted to do in regards to staying there or leaving. We decide to dance for a little bit then leave, and I will say, he can dance very, very well. After a few songs I asked him if we could leave. As we walk out with each other we are laughing and joking with each other the entire time. When we get to the elevators he starts to pick me up and kiss all over me. By the time we get into an elevator things have intensified. He tried to stop the elevator before it got to the floor but I wouldn’t let him. When we reach my vehicle he pushes me against it and we begin to forcefully kiss each other. Finally in my vehicle I start to drive to get us some late night food.

During the drive he is leaning over to suck on my breasts and pretty much finger me while I drive. I also have my hand in his lap playing with him. At some point, and I know this wasn’t safe, but I have his dick pulled out and he tells me to suck it while he steers. I’ve given road head before but never while I was driving. That was interesting to say the least!

I finally stop because it just is not safe for us to be doing. We get some food and go to his house. While we eat together we just joke around and play on the couch. After we eat he picks me up and carries me to his bed. He stands me up so he can lay down, then he looks at me and says, “Come here to me pretty girl.” I take my shoes off and climb into his bed. He’s on his back and holds me in his arms. He then tells me I need to get closer to him so he lays me on top of him and just holds me. I had my face buried in his neck and could just breathe his scent in. We then fell asleep with each other like this for probably two hours. I wake up and try to lift my head but he then squeezes me tighter and won’t let go. When I see the time I tell him I really need to go. I had work the next day and he didn’t. I also was still pretty drunk at this point. He holds me some more and then finally walks me to my car. We kiss and I drive to the house. We text a little when I get home but then I pass out instantly.

When I wake up he was already texting me. We continued to talk the majority of the day which was nice. I had the house to myself that weekend and I had told him but he mentioned to me he had plans Saturday. He didn’t really elaborate on it so I didn’t pester him for more information. Well later that night he let me know what his plans were and that he didn’t want me to think he was ignoring the fact I was alone all weekend. I thought this was really impressive of him to finally tell me if he wasn’t going to be able to talk and why. I was fine with it and was super busy the next two days. We did talk each day with one another so that was nice. Monday we were talking and he made a joke about BJs that night and I had a feeling he’d be asking to see me soon.

Well Tuesday came along and later that afternoon he asked if I had plans and I said no so we decided to see each other. This visit we had several deep conversations about this relationship and what was going on. I’m not quite sure how it started since I had been drinking so keep that in mind. We had been playing with each other and when we started the movie we both got fairly into it so we were discussing details about it. At some point we are talking and he reaches up to grab my breast and makes a comment about my bra, as usual, so I tell him to take it off. He does. Then at some point he reaches to touch my under my shorts and I squirm away, which he knows normally I let him touch, so he asks if it’s a bad week. I say yes and he pouts for a minute! He then asks me why I don’t take the medicine that gives me one every three months. I just look at him and laugh. I tell him that would be nice but porbably would not work for me. Well a little later he then does the same thing but tells me to trust him. He then proceeds to rub my clit until I have an orgasm. Well he continues to do so again and I tell him to go easy because it’s been awhile since he’s made me cum so I get sore easier. He then lifts me up and lays me across his lap, he then proceeds to continue to rub my clit. Again, I tell him to go easy and he asks me why, to which I give him the above explanation. He then tells me, “Well, I’ll give you three orgasms if you think you can handle that.” And he continues to do so until I have three orgasms. When he finished he brought me up to his chest and I laid like that in his lap for a little bit to calm down. After this he started the movie back. We actually finished this movie and proceeded to put another one in.


We did not watch any of the next movie we put in. When I put it in and he made us more drinks we just instantly started talking. We were discussing some people at work and how some of them have warned me against him or make comments about him. Now, I had never told him any of this because I wanted to judge him for myself and get to know him. Plus, I knew it would upset him to know some people had things to say about him. He’s big about trust with people in his life so I knew this would definitely make him mad.

I’m not sure if I ever wrote about this but there had been another girl in the office he previously had been seeing. They actually work in the same department and have offices close to each other. Since he’s more of a senior guy he had to mentor her. Now I’m not dumb so I knew they had something before he and I started seeing each other. He had stated that he wasn’t sure about if there were other guys I was spending time with and I told him not to be ridiculous. He then asked how many I was seeing and I said just one and thumped his nose.

Well I finally grew some balls and flat out asked him, “Am I the only one you are seeing currently?” I just needed to know either way. He tells me I am the only one he has seen or been with for the past few months. He was honest with me and told me he had been seeing the other girl but not that often. He said that he knew we were both smart, had a lot going for us and are both attractive but he claims he couldn’t see any relationship with the other girl. But with me he sees that and sees a lot in me he really likes. Well I told him if that’s true I really appreciate that because, well, I’m not dumb and I won’t just believe everything he says until he can prove to me I can trust him.

Well we were talking about his ex that cheated on him, the fact her father works for the company and has said stuff to me about him in the ways of a warning. He mentioned how his ex has been wanting to see him and sleep with him again and he claims he has been telling her he isn’t interested and to just stop. I did outright ask him if he thought he would ever get back together with his ex and he said pretty much hell no. He then told me a lot of stuff about how that relationship was and that it never felt right and he wouldn’t want to go back to that.

Well he made a comment that, while it was meant to make me feel better, was a little in poor taste. He mentioned confronting the guy and saying not only his exes name and how she was not a good person that he thought she was but then mentioning the other girl and then me saying we were really nice girls. Well I kind of made a face and turned back to the television. Because, honestly I was getting tired of hearing the other girl’s name and feeling compared to her and I told him that. I told him I have a tendency to get slightly jealous but I hide it well.

I did say I understand them having to work together and having to talk to each other about work, but in the other aspect I don’t want things thrown in my face. I blatantly said, “I am an only child so I view things differently. So the point is that what’s mine is mine, I don’t share with others.”  He told me he completely understood and felt the same way. He also apologized for the comment and that he was just worked up because he’s tired of people backstabbing him and going out of their way to possibly ruin things. He was genuinely worried he had ruined the night because he claimed my chemistry changed after that and he was extremely apologetic with it.


He made a comment that still is sticking with me though, “How do these guys not realize that they are making comments to you and how it could really affect the way you think and feel. They don’t realize them saying those things can do serious damage. Especially when you care for someone.”

Then we kind of discussed the same fear he has that if I could do this to my ex could I do it to him. I reminded him that this situation is not something I’ve ever done before and that when I told my closest friends about it and him they were completely shocked because this is not me.

He also reminded me that we had been seeing each other for almost a year now. That’s just crazy to me when I think about it. I even told him it didn’t feel like that long. I asked him if he would believe me more about my feelings when I’ve moved out and he said yes, that it’s hard for him to fully trust what I say since I’m still living with my ex. And I understand that, he even told me that while he doesn’t mean to be hesitant with me he just doesn’t want to get his hopes up and things between us fall through.

That could happen with even normal people I think but we will see. After we talked more about all this and I finally told him that even though people may tell me stuff about him I don’t believe it and I think he is a really good guy. I kissed his cheek like I had been doing just to make him relax a little. I also told him that’s why I decided to get to know him myself and see what I thought about things with him.

When we finally started the new movie we were both tired so he lay back on the couch and pulled me to lie on top of him. We fell asleep like that for a little while. It was so sweet too, anytime I would move he would squeeze me tighter and moan a little. Eventually he woke up and woke me up too. We started to kiss and things led from one thing to another with me eventually asking if I could suck his dick. His answer? Yes, please.

This probably lasted about 45 minutes and as I’ve said before, I love doing that to him because he gets involved in it. Take a note guys, the more you moan and talk, run your fingers through a girls hair or even hold her hair, touch her and just all around make her feel good…your BJ experience will even better and she may even enjoy it. I actually got extremely close to having an orgasm while I was doing it this time. After he came I laid on his chest and made a comment that my upper lip felt really swollen but just laughed it off. Well we just lay on the couch talking and cuddling for a little while. I started playing around with him and he was doing the same with me. He started telling me he had been having trouble sleeping again and was tired, I told him he needed to take his meds again so he could sleep better. He definitely seemed like he was ready to pass out. When I left he got dressed and walked me out, he looked so sweet all sleepy and pouty.

As soon as I drove off he sent me a text.

Him: “:)”

Me: “:))”

I passed out when I got home but first thing this morning he was texting me.

Him: “Sorry I went on about _____. Between that and _____, I was pretty disappointed even though I expected it.”

Me: “I know and that’s why I didn’t want to tell you about it. I really don’t believe you’re like that though if that helps any.”

Him: “I appreciate it. I’d rather know though even if it initially pisses me off.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll remember that but I still hate that I had to tell you and you got mad. I don’t like doing that especially when I  don’t believe what I’m told.”

Him: “What did ______ say bad about me…just that “an (his profession)” dated his daughter and it wasn’t fun? I got            ______’s gist….I’m a player and wreck homes for sports.

Me: “Just that I had to watch out for certain guys who worked there. Then he mentioned that one of the guys dated his       daughter and that he wasn’t a very good guy. He never mentioned you specifically but since you had already told me                 about it I knew he meant you.”

Him: “He indirectly said me…how many guys dated his daughter. And you’d have asked around if you didn’t already          know. I won’t say anything…wouldn’t want to give the satisfaction of thinking they matter.”

Me: “I know you wouldn’t, and you shouldn’t care what they say. Especially if you know it’s not true and can easily explain                what actually happened compared to what they try to say…I know it still is infuriating when people say stuff like that,   because a person without any sense could choose to believe what they heard instead of giving you the benefit of at least      proving them wrong.”

Him: “Yep”

Me: “I still don’t like that I told you something that made you mad :/”

Him: “Nah”

Him: “So what made you ask if I’d get back with me ex?”

Me: “You had mentioned she was texting you again wanting to see you so I just thought I’d ask”

And well that was it. Work had started so I’m guessing he got busy but I’m sure I will hear from him soon. So that was my past week, I definitely feel like I’m making some type of headway with my Russian and hopefully it will keep on going.

And by the way, the inside of my top lip has like a blood blister or something so it’s still swollen. Apparently I got too excited and forgot to give my top lip a break from covering my teeth!!

Any thoughts you’d like to share with me? What are your thoughts on dealing with people trying to start things about you when involved in your love life? What about exes trying to come back into the picture? I’d love to hear about it!



Oh Those Things You Do


Last night was very unexpected to say the least. If you are wondering, dear reader, did I go meet the Russian at the bar last night the answer to that question is not really.

I hadn’t heard from him that afternoon so I had sent him a text letting him know my friends had bailed on me for the night. We talked about for a little bit, and then an hour or so later he mentioned that my roommate came up and talked to him for a minute. Talk about awkward and weird. He told me that it made him feel like an asshole. I can understand that because this situation is so strange and he knows the ex and I didn’t end on horrible terms so the Russian feels like he doesn’t have a reason to dislike him.

He asked me if I came to the bar and I told him that I had no one I could meet there besides him. He was a little sad and I told him that since it’s work guys there if we started drinking around each other and became too touchy around them it would make things very obvious. He agreed and asked what I was doing later, I had no plans since I was already in bed. We talked back and forth for a little while then I fell asleep. He sent me a text around midnight asking if I was up. I had been in and out of being awake so I told him I was and he asked if I would mind picking him up. He told me that he did have a ride with his friends but if I wasn’t tired he’d like me to get him.

So I drove over to get him, I will admit I was slightly nervous since my ex was still there and he could have easily seen the Russian get into my car. Thankfully that didn’t happen though. Once we were in my car driving he was telling me about the night and how things went with him seeing my ex. Then he told me about some stuff at work that had progressed. It was actually a fun ride together. He was buzzed but not completely drunk so that made it better.

Once we are inside he can see the shorts I’m in and makes a comment about them, then pulls me in for a hug. I kiss his neck and start to pull away but he holds me tighter. He then tells me he’s trying to take a picture of my ass in these shorts. Men. He finally gets a picture he likes and we sit in the living room. I wasn’t going to drink since it was already late and I didn’t need to wake up with a hangover again. As we are sitting he gives me more details about what was going on with work and it seems that slowly, but surely things are getting better.

He asks me if I have a curfew tonight and I tell him I never have a curfew, but that I just try to be somewhat respectful to the ex to avoid any fights or me getting kicked out.

We are playing with the tv when he mentions that he still hasn’t seen a certain movie yet and would like to take me but knows we could get caught. I then tell him that my ex is going out of town for the entire weekend. He tells me we can still be seen by someone, I kind of shrug my shoulders and say if we meet in the theater and it will dark no one could really say anything.

I had mentioned to him a while back about using an app on his game station to stream movies/television shows so he asks if I wouldn’t mind helping him with it. He then asks me if I want an orgasm before or after we start downloading this program, I tell him after and stand up to turn on the game station. He quickly grabs me and sits me on his lap while spreading my legs. He then slides his hand up my shorts and continues on till I have an orgasm. Well, maybe more like three. When he finally stops he lets me stand up again and get the remote.

Well we slowly start the process and talk the entire time. I ask him how the night was and we talk about that for a little bit. I mention to him that a coworker that we are both friends with had mentioned going that night and asked if I had heard about it. He stops me right there and tells me that this coworker is already aware of our situation. I look at him and ask what does he know? The Russian tells me that he knows we see each other and I’m completely shocked. Mainly because I am close to this coworker and he never mentioned knowing to me but I’ll admit when I think about certain things he would say now make sense. And the Russian mentions that the coworker told him he had brought up inviting me but that I played it off really well. He also tells me that he was trying to see how much he could trust both of us. We passed too, in case you were wondering.

I ask him why he’s always testing me and he says that he just wants to learn more about me. But that he believes I’d ever intentionally disappoint him or let him down. I told him I would try not to, no one is perfect though.

When the program finally downloads we start setting everything up, once it’s set up he forwardly asks me, “Would you like to watch a movie or make out?” I raise an eyebrow and look at him, “Well that’s right to the point huh?” He laughs and tells me we can do whatever I want. I lean over and start kissing his neck again, “So I guess that’s your answer huh?” I smile at him and shake my head. He then goes to get something and comes back to the living room. I make a comment that we need to turn the tv on or something because it’s so quiet, he then hands me his phone and tells me to start some music. I look through his list and pick an artist to make fun of him.

We laugh about and he starts to jokingly sing along with it. I start to kiss on his neck and then make my way to his lips. We start kissing and then I begin to slowly grind myself against him. I do this for a little bit till he pulls my face away from his and says, “Please.” I tilt my head and say, “Please what?” He shifts himself, grabs my face and says, “Please suck my dick.” I smile at him and slide down the couch to do what he asks. So after I’ve been giving him what he asked for he pulls me up and towards him to ask me if I want him to fuck me. I tell him yes of course. I then straddle him and I start to slowly put him inside me and when I have him maybe a quarter of the way in he lifts his hips up and suddenly pushes himself all the way inside me. This causes me to yell out since I wasn’t prepared for that. We only do me on top and sideways while on top, after some very intense and multiple orgasms he stands us up and walks me to the end of the couch. He lays me across the armrest and proceeds to fuck me from behind. And he knows I’m sore from the spankings he gave me last time but he gave me a few more until I had to ask him to stop. That really surprised him so he stopped for a little while. Before he came he asked me if I would give him another BJ until he came. Which I did but I teased him a lot with it. I know how he likes it so I would get him right to the edge and then I’d stop and change speeds. He caught onto that after a little while. Whenever he came I continued what I was doing until well after.

He pulled me up to his chest where I laid for a little while. I was completely exhausted and could have just passed out then and there. We finally get up, I get dressed but he continues to walk around naked which I just love. He kisses me bye and tells me to let him know when I’m home and I do. It wasn’t too late thankfully.

We’ve talked a bit today so we will see if he wants to see me this weekend since I’ll be by myself. It’s so weird how back and forth he can get sometimes but the chemistry between us is just intense. Oh Russian, the things you do to me.

Am I the Only One?


After my last post I had another night with the Russian. This one was different than the others for sure.

For the first time he asked to see me and I wasn’t able to go see him. He had been texting me some last Wednesday and I guess that should have been my hint he wanted to see me but I was just busy and didn’t notice. Then he sent me a texting asking about watching our show that night. This is how that conversation went:

Me: “Tonight?”

Him: “Yea, just got off sorry”

Me: “Lol it’s okay, I want to but it’s my gym night”

Him: “So come at 7:30”

Me: “I go at 7, pay attention!”

Him: “And go again…not all people do all 3 hours in one night lol”

Me: “I don’ do three hours I go MWF lol”

Me: “I might be able to tomorrow night”

Him: “Ok, loser”

Me: “Oh don’t sound so thrilled about it ass”

Him: “I’m not lol”

Me: “Oh so you’re not even the tiniest bit thrilled to see me? Thaaaaankkkksss ass lol”

Me: (Insert our glare emoji)

Him: “Not thrilled about waiting a day drama queen”

Me: “Yea yea, it’s just a day! I gotta stay in shape so you don’t trade me in lol

Him: “True true”

Me: “Keep on cruisin old man”


Then we had a normal conversation and he was asking about anything new about my house. Well the next day I was fairly busy so I didn’t text him till about 3:30 that afternoon asking if I should still plan on coming over. I didn’t hear back from him for about an hour so I figured he just didn’t want to see me so I went about my business at the house. Well I got a text from an email address that I realized was him and he was asking me about that night. I informed him I had texted earlier but it must not have gone through. So I told him I’d be there between 6:30 and 7. He asked if I would pick up food and I didn’t mind so I did.

When I got there he was on the phone and stayed on it for a little bit. It was obvious it was about work so I just started eating and waited for him to finish. When he got off the phone he was really upset and it was obvious. As we were eating he went on to tell me about some work issues he had been having and how they were making him feel. We talked about that for a good hour and a half, I could tell he needed to vent so I let him. Once he got it out and we talked about what he should do next he relaxed more and made us drinks. When we picked up the show where we left off we kind of talked about other random things and just played with each other.

About halfway through the first episode his phone rings and he goes into the other room to talk. Well this call lasted like 20 minutes and I was trying to not let it aggravate me, it did a little bit but I got over it. When he came back in the living room he apologized again and paused the movie to talk to me about the call. It was someone he works with that he really respects and looks up to who was giving him some advice. It was something I had suggested earlier and he said he was definitely going to do that now.

We both started watching the show again and he realized I needed another drink so he went to fix some. I was joking with him and giving him a hard time and he was joking right back. He kept telling me I didn’t to put my tough exterior away and just relax. I told him I wasn’t doing that, I honestly didn’t think I was but I think subconsciously I just do that. Well I started being sweeter to him and kissing on him more. Then I started to tickle him. I’m not sure if I ever posted this but the Russian is super ticklish and I use it to my advantage  a lot. Well eventually we got into a tickle fight and he had me pinned on the couch tickling me, I was pretty much yelling and laughing while he did it. He wouldn’t stop until I said “sorry” twice to him.


I finally relented and he pulled me up next to him. As I was leaned against him we started talking about each other’s bodies. He made a comment about not understanding why he just didn’t have a six pack already. I told him I thought he looks great and I can tell he’s been working on it. He then tells me he can notice a difference in me too, not that I needed it but that I’ve become more toned.

We talk a little bit about it and then, as usual, he starts touching my face and grabs my cheeks. I pull back, make a face and tell him to stop. He reaches out and grabs my face super quick and questions me about why I don’t like him touching my face.

“Did someone do this to you that you didn’t like or do you think you just not like your cheeks?” I tell him it’s just because I think I have big cheeks. Which is true, I have always thought my cheeks were just big. We start talking again and he makes a funny statement about my bra. He tells me to take my bra off, I tell him if he wants it off he can remove it. He takes a handful of my hair and pulls my face towards him, “You heard me, take your bra off. Don’t make me ask twice.” Well, I can feel my rebellious side come out and I get excited he might…chose to discipline me so I tell him again, if he wants it off he can take it off. He lets go of my hair and laughs that I don’t listen very well. He stands up to go to the bathroom and says, “It better be off when I get back in here.” So I listen that time and take it off, but I don’t say anything when he gets back.

When he’s back on the couch I kiss his cheeks that I normally do. I start by doing that real slow, spacing out the kisses by a few seconds and make my way to his lips as usual. He reaches up and puts his hands on both sides of my face and kisses me back. He eventually slide one hand down and grabs my breast. He leans back and says, “Oh, so you did take this off.” And he smiles at me, he continues to rub on my breasts and then he wants to know if he can ask me something. I nod my head and moan a little cause he hasn’t stopped touching me, “What size are you?” I tell him I’m a small C, and he says he was going to guess that or a bigger B. I make a remark about not having big breasts and he says, “Just  because someone has Ds doesn’t make them pretty. And yours are so pretty.”

I laugh and say thanks; he grabs my face again to continue kissing me. I eventually slide my hand down to touch him. I had bumped his member with my elbow when we were kissing and wanted to see if he was hard like I thought. And he sure was. So I give him a tug and moan while we kiss. He leans me forward and nudges my head down, this causes me to look at him and lift an eyebrow. He tells me just to give it a little bite; he was wearing basketball shorts so I do as he asks through his shorts. I lean myself back up and lean against him. He has his arms around me and I’m still groping his member. He tilts my head up and asks me a question I wasn’t expecting.

“Am I the only one?” I was surprised he asked me this, since he never really has before. And to be honest, since he and I had picked things up again since February he has been the only one. So I look at him and I say, “Yes, you’re the only one.” He grabs my face and tells me to be honest, I can tell he’s really studying my eyes so I hold them open and repeat what I said. I also add, “I’m not going to lie to you, there’s no point.” He kisses me and says, “I always believe you when you look at me like that with those big eyes.”


He reaches towards my pants to touch me and I kind of push his hand away. He looks at me and smiles, “Bad time this week?” I nod my head and yet he still reaches inside my pants. I smack his hand and ask if he didn’t understand what my nod meant. He tells me he just wants to feel the top and I tell him I’m not smoothly waxed anymore I’m in between. He tells me he doesn’t care, which freaks me out. I’m not crazy hairy but I don’t like having hair period, but as he touches he asks how long it has been and I tell him maybe four weeks. He tells me that it’s still pretty smooth for that long. Then he takes his hand away and tells me that I need to trust him more when he does that.

He sees some light reflect from my yoga pants and he grabs the top of them and I kind of push his hand away. He tells me he just wants to see my underwear. I laugh and say too bad because I didn’t have any on. He looks at me and asks that even on my period I don’t wear them. I tell him I just don’t wear panties with yoga pants. I make the remark that I’ve always been more comfortable with less clothing on. I tell him how I hate wearing pants and I prefer shorts, dresses or skirts. He tells me I’m just saying what he wants to hear. I informed him I haven’t told anyone that fact, but my mom knows because I’ve always been that way. He shakes his head and tells me I’m so sexy and I don’t even realize it. I roll my eyes and kiss him some more.

Things progress further and I ask if I could suck his dick. Needless to say, he gave me permission. 🙂

I hadn’t really given him a blowjob since his birthday (the night of four BJs) and I’ll admit I was pretty excited to do that again. Once he came for me he pulled me up to him and I told him he shouldn’t deprive me from doing them. He laughs and says he hasn’t but he just loves being inside me. I tell him I like that too but I love doing this. We finally get back to watching the show and talking. I was feeling pretty bold at this moment and I ask him about why he sent me a text over the weekend and never said anything back. He claims he was testing me. I say, “Russian (full name), I have told you that makes me feel weird. If you want to talk to me then talk to me!” He looks at me and says, “The same can be said for you, little girl.” I laugh and tell him alright but it still makes me feel weird to text him.

Eventually as the night gets later we decide I need to leave soon, now I’m not sure how this happened exactly but he pulls me across his lap and gives me three hard ass slaps. My god, can the man spank some ass. When he finishes doing that he tells me that’s a reminded to behave. I laugh a little and tell him, “Yes sir” while we stand up. We start kissing and he proceeds to touch me through my pants, I resist a little at first but then I relax and let an orgasm just happen. He then lifts me like that and bends me over the front of the couch, while he grabs onto my ass I reach between my legs and touch his dick. He moans when I slide it out of his shorts and rub him against my clit, through my yoga pants. Eventually I turn around and kneel down in front of him. I give him a second BJ, and this was the first one with all the lights in his house on. It was weird for me because I hadn’t seen his dick like that yet but it was also super exciting. After he came I stood up and he leaned his body against mine and said I was going to kill him with those. I remind him he needs to stop depriving me. This could have been the alcohol talking but as I was walking behind him I leaned forward and told him I really want to give him another one already. He groans at me and says we’d be up all night if we didn’t have work (and if I didn’t need to get to the house). What can I say, I really enjoy giving him blowjobs.

As I was getting in my car he told me to let him know when I made it back in as usual. He texted me some while I was driving and then when I made it home I let him know. Friday I asked him how his meetings went and we talked for a long time. Nothing since, I did run into him at the office though. I had parked and was walking to the door when I saw two men standing by it. I could tell it was him just by his back and the way he was standing. He turns around and tells me “Hey” I smile and say “Hello” and keep walking.

I realize now he probably wants me to text him more but that’s so weird for me and when I did it before it always seemed I was bothering him with it. But we will see what unfolds from here.

What are your views on being the first to text the other person? Any advice on how to handle that or if you would even do that with a man you were seeing? 

But Timing’s a Bitch


Where do I even begin this post? A lot has happened in the last few days…last night especially.

**Forewarning, there is definitely some graphic sex in this post so if you’re offended or not interested in sex you have been warned!

After talking to the Russian somewhat over the weekend I didn’t hear anything from him from Sunday until Thursday after work. I had literally just left the office and was driving home when I got his text.

Him: “Yo _____”

Me: “Hola _____”

Him: “What are you doing this evening?”

Me: “I don’t know, I haven’t made any plans”

Me: “And yourself?”

Him: “Wondering if you would like to watch the new Hobbit?”

Me: “Hmmm possibly”

Him: “Hmmm”

Me: “I can probably swing that, maybe this one won’t put me to sleep”

Him: “I can give you something to do while we watch if you need help staying awake”

Me: “Haha! I’m sure you can lol”

Him: “It’s long though”

Me: “What’s a good time for me to come over?”

Him: “The movie”

Me: “I know that perve”

Him: “Sorrrrry…it couldn’t have meant something else apparently. I’m offended!”

Me: “Oh whatever! Lol you know it sounded perverted!”

Him: “I have an appointment at 5 so 7-7:30?”

Me: “That works for me”


If you could have seen my face and felt the emotions going through me when I saw he wanted to see me. So as I prepared myself to go over there I had a lot on my mind. It was mainly what should I say to him  and how should I act around him.

As I drove to his house my heart is just racing and I had a million thoughts racing in my mind. I get to his place and he opens the garage for me and I park.

I walk in and he’s fixing himself some dinner. I joke about what he’s making as I walk towards him. He grabs me in a hug and kisses my cheek. He’s a little weird about me watching him eat if I’m not eating so I sat on the couch and he was behind me at the kitchen table. While he’s eating he tells me about how busy he’s been with work for the past two weeks. He tells me a super long story about some stuff with work and I ask him a lot of questions but like most people, he has no problem telling me stuff. It must be that my face screams, “TELL ME EVERYTHINGYOU WANT TOO!” I should have become a shrink.


I should mention that he looked so handsome. Just in a tshirt and some jeans, it just screamed masculine. Plus he has amazing arms and I kept catching myself staring at them.

We talk about that for well about an hour, then when he finishes eating he starts to fix us drinks. I mention to him that I’ve found a house and I’ll be making an offer on it within the next few days. This, I could tell, really surprised him. We talk about that for a little while and then he puts the movie in and we start watching.

So he’s sitting on the couch and I’m next to him with my feet tucked underneath me but my legs are angled away from him. He grabs my legs and leans them so they are touching him and he can put his arms around them. He then asks me if it’s okay that he did that and I just laugh and say yes.

tumblr_n3tirwyMsl1rh1wv4o1_500So we talk a lot during this movie, about the acting, scenery and a few different characters. At one point I made a smart ass remark and he grabbed my chin and pulled me towards him so I would kiss on his face. As I’ve said in previous posts, he apparently really likes that. So I gave him a few kisses and pulled away. I lean against him and we continue to watch the movie and drink.

As he’s playing with my hair and rubbing my back, he finishes his drink and asks me if I’m done with mine so he could finish it and make us more. I drink the rest of it and he gets up to make us more drinks. As he is doing that he asks me more about the house. I start talking about looking at different loans and how we plan on presenting the offer.

We talk about that for a good 20 minutes, if not more. At one point he tells me that he was starting to think I was just lying to him about looking for a house. I tell him it’s just been hard trying to find what I want and be able to afford it on my own. He asks me if it’ll just be me there and I tell him yes. He asks how I think that’s going to go over with the boyfriend and I tell him it’s something that’s already been discussed. He drops that topic there because he could tell I didn’t really want to continue talking about it. We had been facing each other while talking about all this. Eventually he tells me I need to put my “tough exterior” down and relax.

I make another smart ass remark and he tells me that’s what he’s talking about. I laugh and lean in to kiss his cheek again, I slowly start to move my lips towards his as I kiss his face. We start to kiss each other and it’s very…..intense. He’s running his hands through my hair and touching my throat. I either touch his face or put my hands on his chest.



We eventually stop and start the movie again. He positions himself so his back is against the armrest and I’m leaning my back on his chest while sitting between his legs.

He plays with my hair and starts to massage on my arms. I make the comment that I’m pretty sore from working out with my new trainer the past few weeks. He tells me he notices my arms are different and more toned. As a typical man he starts to touch my breasts a little and then goes back to rubbing my neck and shoulders. He eventually leans me up to take my bra off.


I turn and look at him then he touches on my face. I squirm and tell him to stop because he knows I don’t like that, he tells me, “I know you have a thing about that but…you need to just get over it. There’s nothing wrong with your face.” I tell him I just don’t get why he always wants to touch my cheeks, he replies, “I’m not sure why but I just really like your cheeks. I just want to touch them.”

I laugh and roll my eyes, as I lean back again he rubs my neck and then starts massaging my face. As we continue watching the movie, we finished our drinks so he makes one more for us just to share. He comes back and we are sitting up together talking, he then turns me to face him while he is playing with my hair. He has both of his hands in my hair, just massaging my head and playful pulling my hair. I laugh and sigh because it feels good. He pulls me close to him and we start kissing again. This time it really escalates. As we are kissing he pulls back and asks if he can touch me, I look away and give a little shrug. He asks me again and makes me look at him, I nod my head yes.

He slowly puts his hand down my pants. I had gotten my wax last week so I was still very smooth. (Much to my relief!) Once he reaches my pussy he immediately closes his eyes and lets out a small moan. He begins by just playing with my clit because he knows how sensitive mine is and he easily brings me to an orgasm. Then he starts to slide a finger inside me and that really gets me excited. I start to moan louder and I’m clinging to his arm. I have a hard time letting myself go and lose control enough to really enjoy that moment. He knows this so he will hold my hand away from his so I can’t stop him. I reach over to touch him and he’s hard as a rock. I mean, hard. At some point he pulls me onto his lap and then stands up with me wrapped around him. He carries me like that to his bed.

As he sits me on the bed he grabs me, lays down and then he set me on top of him. He pulls me down to him and kisses me so hard. Then I sit up and he takes my shirt off. As he plays with my breasts and I start to instinctively grind on him he asks me if I want to suck his dick. I nod my head yes but I don’t move down there immediately, I continue to kiss on his neck. He asks me again, knowing I can’t resist and then I make my way down. I unbutton and unzip his pants then I start to suck on his dick. I eventually have his pants pulled all the way down and he positions me so I’m sideways and he can still touch me.


As he’s fingering me and talking to me I start to have a hard time concentrating on sucking his dick. I finally say something like, “If you don’t stop I’m going to want to fuck you.” He then puts a second finger inside me which causes me to cry out, I’m pretty tight, and he says, “Are you sure? That’s only two fingers. Do you think you can take what’s in your mouth.”tumblr_myreqfNNfI1soljxao1_250

I nod my head yes and straddle him. He leans over and grabs a condom and some lube. I take his shirt off and then I take my pants off. He puts some lube in my hand and I rub it on his dick. Going either slow or fast while I rub the lube on. He then puts the condom on and flips me over. I start to put myself on my stomach but he flips me over on my back and then he’s inside me.

Oh. My. God. It was the best feeling in the world. He had to go slow a little at first, as I’ve said before, he is a well endowed man. But once he starts going he changes between me having my legs wrapped around him to putting my legs over his shoulders. It hurts a little when he has them over his shoulders because he’s really deep inside me. He kisses me then leans into my neck and tells me how good I feel and how tight I am. I remind him that he’s huge but feels amazing. Then he lifts my hips and leans back so I’m on top. I ride him for a long time, and one thing I really like is he’s good at still having some control even when he’s on the bottom. He will grab my hips and change my pace or direction. Or he’d make me get still while he moved underneath me. I turn sideways and he fucks me hard like that. He then turns me around to reverse cowgirl but I lean back on his chest some while he holds my hips. I can’t even count the orgasms at this point. Eventually he turns me around again. I tell him I want him behind me. He doesn’t even come out from inside me when he’s turning me around. He then starts to really fuck me. He’s pulling my hair and starts to really slap my ass. I start to get really loud at this point, which is typical of me. I tell him I want him to come for me and he moans. He continues to fuck me then asks if I’m ready for him to come or if I want more. I tell him I need him to come. He then fucks me hard, slips out from inside me, whips the condom off and comes on my back. He did ask if he could, by the way, he has done that before.

Once he cleans me off I roll to my side, I literally couldn’t move because this had taken an hour at the very least and I am not use to that at all. He goes to clean himself off and I put my pants and shirt back on. He makes a comment about “round one” and goes to the bathroom. I sit on the couch and check my phone. I had a text from the boyfriend telling me what bar he was at. I didn’t respond at that point.

He makes a joke that I didn’t really get to watch the movie but I tell him it’s not my fault he was distracting me. He laughs and puts his clothes back on.


The Russian and I then sit on the couch and start talking about, well, anything and everything. Work, friends, what we’ve been doing lately and then tv. It wasn’t weird or awkward after we had sex it felt pretty normal. We were talking about people going out to find somebody to just find somebody to bring home and he tells me he isn’t like that. I instantly roll my eyes and say “Yeah right” and laugh. He tells me he isn’t and doesn’t want me to think that.

We kiss more and just sit together while watching a funny movie. Eventually we realize what time it really is and both decide I need to go. He walks me to my car and tells me to be careful. We hug and then start to kiss again, it gets a little heated and he tells me I need to stop starting stuff. I told him he’s the tease which causes him to kiss me again. I get into my car and head back to the house.

He texts me once I’m almost there, he quotes a movie and I ask him about it because I couldn’t remember where it was from off the top of my head. I make fun of his “old age” and then that was it.


I haven’t heard from him yet today but since I know he’s actually busy with some serious work projects I’m not too worried about it. Plus, we all know how he acts after we’ve seen each other. I take it as a plus he actually texted me that night.

I’m not getting my hopes up about him again, I realize that he probably isn’t going to take any real intiative with me until I’ve finally moved out and I’m on my own again. I can’t say I blame him but at the same time he’s running the risk that while he’s busy doing that I could meet someone else. Most people have told him I won’t be single long…I don’t really believe that but it’s really whatever.

Is it weird I’m also happy to have finally had sex again? Not just sex but amazing, multiple orgasms sex? It probably sounds super slutty but it’s true. Now if I could stop picturing it in my head and getting me all excited.

Until next time fair readers…..


If you have any thoughts or advice please feel free to share them with me. I would definitely appreciate it!