Reactions, Issues and Juggling


It sometimes blows my mind with how the Russian acts and how he wants me to be. Not in a bad way just in a shocking way. After we had spent the last time together I decided to check on how his meeting about work had gone and we talked normal about that. Then over that weekend we didn’t really talk, I was super busy and didn’t text him. Then on Monday I sent him a funny picture relating to a movie we had attempted to watch together and he never responded. I was completely thrown off and a little hurt.

Well I remembered his phone had been acting up after he updated and I had saved his email to his phone number in my contacts list. So I sent another picture on Wednesday to his actual phone number and he responded back immediately. I brought up him not responding to me in the conversation like this:

Me: “I sent you a hilarious meme Monday but SOMEONE was apparently too good to respond”

Him: “Never got it?”

I gave him a little bit of a hard time about it and then sent the picture to him again. He stated that he loved that movie and I made another comment to him.

Me: “I’ve only seen like 30 minutes of that movie thanks to someone”

Him: “That someone is you lol and I mayyy have slightly contributed”

Me: “Oh bullshit! You got those roles reversed old man lol”

Him: “Wtfe lol”

Him: “Whatever tastes better going down…pun intended”

Me: “Dirty, dirty old man!! But that was a nice one lol”

As the conversation progresses between us he mentions my boyfriend and says a statement that he knows aggravates me. I asked him why he said that and he said specifically, “To aggravate you.”

Me: “Would it kill you to ever just be nice to me once in a while?! Lol”

Him: “Ditto! And no it wouldn’t”

Me: “I am nice to you!!”

Him: “I’ll always be a smartass though”

Me: “And so will I lol I’m just saying!”

Then he went to dinner with his family at one of my favorite places in our city. He had mentioned it to me earlier so I was pretty jealous already. Well he sent me a text telling me what he ate:

Me: “I’m so jealous and hating you right now”

Him: “I’m ok with this.”

Me: “Oh well as long as you’re okay with me hating you!”

Him: “If it’s because I had ____ lol”

Me: “That’s a good point but I’m still mad at you so hmmm!”

Him: (He sent me a sleeping emoji)

Me: “Keep it up fucker and I’ll knock your happy ass out”

Him: “I’m sorry what? I dozed off.”

Him: “Lol damn I’m funny”

Me: (I sent him three emojis)

Him: “Don’t strain that pretty face”

Me: “That’s my mad/pout face and I’ll do what I want!”

Him: “Elevating your ratchetness will get nowhere.”

Me: “How was that even remotely ratchet sir?”

Him: “You raised your voice”

Me: “One exclamation is not me raising my voice sweetheart lol”

Him: “It is if I say so.”

Me: “Oh is that you using your big man voice on me?”

Him: “Yes it was”

Me: “You know how much I like it when you do”

Him: “Yes perve lol”

Me: “You call me a perve like it is a bad thing lol”

Him: “No I didn’t”

Me: “Uh huh if you say so”


We stopped talking after that point but it was already pretty late. The next day I hadn’t heard from him but I figured I would since Thursdays have become our nights to see each other. Well when I did hear from him it was later than usual so I was worried about me being able to get away. I actually would be by myself the entire weekend so I told him that but he was going out of town as it had turned out. Well I didn’t want to not see him for a while and I could tell he was the same way. He seemed a little upset when I mentioned I might not be able to but then luckily I was good to get away.

He asked me to pick up our usual food and made a comment about paying me for it. I haven’t taken his money only because it isn’t expensive, plus I don’t want him to think I need him to…right now any ways. When I got there we started the show and ate while watching it as usual. We talked about the episode we left off on and started joking with each other. After we ate he put the food up and sat back down with me. He waited a little while to make drinks but he eventually did. He asked me if I wanted one and I just said yes, knowing he was expecting a “yes sir” from me. And he pulled me to him and said “Yes what?” and I just smiled and said yes. He laughed and said I was asking for trouble behaving that way.

As the night progressed we talked more about my house and other things going on. When we discussed my house he brings up again that he didn’t think I was really going to move. I get frustrated and tell him if he’d like to see the signed contract then I can pull it up to show him. He tells me he believes me now because most people wouldn’t lie about something like that. I remind him I haven’t been lying it just hasn’t been a good market lately for houses. He makes us each a second drink when my phone goes off. One of my old school friends had sent me a text asking about a particular class and teacher. The Russian actually said, “Who you texting little girl?!” I knew he was being funny so I explained the text and what was going on. This led to a further discussion of “juggling” people.

He made a joke to me about other guys and I said, “Unlike some people, I don’t juggle multiple people in my life.” He asks me if I was directing that somewhere and I just said, “Nope, I’m just saying I don’t do that like other people can do.” He grabs my face and tells me I have my facts wrong and to not think like that. I laugh it off and give him a kiss on the cheek. I did ask him about why he would send me one text and then nothing else; he claims he was testing me. Which is something I hate but I tell him again he can easily text me.

At some point he takes my bra off but does it a little different than normal. I had been leaning on his side with his right arm around me and my legs over his. Well he sits me up and undoes my bra strap then moves his hand up to take my bra strap down. I usually take it off so I lift my hand to do that and he grabs it and pushes it onto my lap. He then removes my bra completely for me. He sits me back like I had been and we continue watching our show. He had been rubbing my legs and I made a comment about being a little sore so he puts me in his lap and starts to massage my shoulders and back. All while slightly teasing me of course.

As things progress we start kissing each other and then he’s lying on the couch while I’m on top of him. I tell him I want him and he asks me kind of a weird question, to me anyways. “Do you want me to fuck you while you watch this show or do you just want me to fuck you?” I kind of raise an eyebrow at him and I tell him I just want him to fuck me, he grabs my throat and tells me “Good answer.” While we continue to kiss I unbutton his pants and then he pushes me off of him. I kind of look at him and he grabs me and tells me to go to the bed. He had to go to the bathroom so I walked to his bed and lay down. When he came back he rolled me onto my stomach and slowly takes my shorts and panties off and then throws them over the bedside table. He makes me lay like that while he plays with my ass, going from smacking it to gently playing with it. He turns me over and then he’s the one on his stomach. I sit him up and take his shirt off then move down to take his pants off. Once those are off then things went on as normal. I sucked on his dick for a little bit, going easy on him just to tease him more than anything. Then he puts lube on my hand that I rub on him while he gets a condom ready. Once he’s ready I straddle him and slowly take him inside me. I don’t think I’ll ever get use to that feeling. He’s almost too big but it always feels amazing. Once he’s inside me it takes a moment for me to get comfortable enough to start riding him. He makes a comment about me being super tight and arches his back up which pushed him deeper in me, causing me to yell out a little.

I stay on top for the majority of the time, from reverse cowgirl, being sideways and normal girl on top. I tell him that I want him behind me and he quickly flips me around like that. As he’s starting to really fuck me he pulls my hair which makes me lift my face right next to his. I turn my face a little and kiss him deeply like he likes. He tells me he’s about to cum and wants to cum on my back. I don’t think I’ll ever understand men’s fascination with that. I tell him he can but he tells me I have to have one more orgasm first. So hey, I’m not going to tell me no! I have my millionth orgasm and then right when he came he pulled out, threw the condom off and came on my back.

He cleans my back off and we lay in bed together for a little while longer. Since he’s on his back and still hard I kiss his chest and stomach then make my way down to his member. I give him a little BJ, it’s easier for me to deep throat him right after he came. He definitely makes the sexiest noises when we are enjoying each other; I think I’m addicted to that the most. Just his reactions to me doing things to him.

He hands me my shorts and kind of stands there, I jokingly ask if he was going to watch me get dressed and he said he wanted to but he’d be a gentleman and wait. We resume sitting on the couch for a little bit and start watching a game on TV. We discuss it some and have a semi-serious discussion about teams and players. He gave me crap for my teams I liked and why I liked them. Eventually I leave and he walks me out as usual. We talk more and he kisses me a few times before I go.

Over the weekend I didn’t talk to him but I knew he was with his friends out of our area so I just let it go. He saw me at work yesterday, I’m not sure how or where, but I know I looked good. Pencil skirts are always a sure way to flatter this girl’s body.

Him: “Looking sharp”

Me: “Thanks, I do what I can”

Him: “Don’t get big headed!”

Me: “Lol! I’m not, just being honest fool!”

Yesterday afternoon I went and checked out the progress on my home and the status of some of the things being done. I went to another house this man had done and saw what the kitchen will look like almost exactly. Well I photographed it and sent it to the Russian later that night. He really liked it and we talked about the house some and what I’ll be doing to it. I make a comment about the floors and they will be like his but I said something about some that were too shiny and he thought I was saying I didn’t like his. I jokingly called him a “grouchy ass” and he told me he thought we were being nice and I said we were till he gave me attitude and he kind of pouted a little.

Me: “Oh don’t frown at me! You know I’m playing with you.”

Him: “Wish you were”

Me: “Mmm is that right?”

Him: “Yep”

Me: “The feeling is mutual”

Then we get on the topic of my relationship and how that was going. He asked basically if we had officially broken up, I tell him no but it’s obvious between the two of us that it will happen. To be honest with my readers the boyfriend and I have talked maybe 30 minutes with each other the past two weeks. Only if it’s about the dogs or house do we speak to each other, otherwise it’s nothing. I told the Russian that we rarely go places together anymore and we literally talk to each other like roommates.

I honestly get the feeling the Russian is going to want to eventually make things more between once I’m moved out on my own. I worry about the trust aspect with that but I’ll just have to really show him he can trust me. Of course, like one of my readers mentioned I will have to ask him what it is he wants too. I do and I don’t look forward to that. Oh well! Closing date is getting closer and closer, wish me luck as I end one relationship, move out and start life all over again. I’m absolutely terrified but excited too, oh the joys of being an almost grown up! 


Just Stay With Me



I apologize for the delay in my postings, my company’s IT department is being finicky and I’ve had problems accessing my blog! And it’s nearly impossible for me to do this from home unless the boyfriend isn’t around. Now let me think of where I left off…

After the rendezvous in my previous post, which was on a Wednesday, and we had continued talking to each other during the week. On Friday, we were texting each other back and forth. Just being super flirty and what not. Somehow we got on the topic of rating each other, I think I had said , jokingly, if he wasn’t such a good conservationist I probably wouldn’t be that interested  in him. He rated himself a 7-7.5/10 and said that number isn’t the reason I talk to him. I had told him I rated him higher and he didn’t believe. Then we were talking about the rating system and how 10s are hard to come by but that 9s are model worthy. He then tells me I’m more than able to be a paid model (I use to do some modeling before but pursued school to get my degree). He then rates me as a 9/10 which blows my mind. After this discussion I change the subject to what he was doing, which was watching a particular show.

The next day we talk pretty much all day. He found some of my portfolio pictures on my Facebook and asked if there were anymore to see. I sent him some that aren’t on there and he just about lost it. He was telling me he really like how my hair was done for one shoot and how if I showed up at his house like that he’d have a hard time restraining himself. Well as the day progresses we talk back and forth. Sending each other funny pictures and such as well. This is the most we had talked to each other since November.

That Saturday the boyfriend and I got into an argument so I decided to go see my parents and I ended up staying at their house for the night. We had some family over and they were joking with me betting I couldn’t still fit into my old cheerleading uniforms. I put on one of my favorite ones and took pictures and sent them to the Russian. He said he liked my vanity and thought one of my bracelets was a collar (which is weird). And of course he liked the outfit. We got to talking and I had asked why I would bring collars to my parent’s house, his response:

Him: “I should have assumed you were there but I never looked passed you to see you were on the second floor of whichecer place you were at. My eyes hit the mirror and you and seemed to stop there.”

The conversation continues until we both pass out.

Then it continues on Sunday when he wakes up. We start talking about family and things like that. After a few hours later he reveals he is watching “The Godfather” and asks if I had ever seen it.  We then get into a debate about movies and shows; I’m shocked he’s never seen that movie and some other classics. Eventually I start the drive back from my parent’s home back to my town. When I tell the Russian this he asks if I’d be able to make a pit stop to see him. I was pretty much in some pajamas since my stay with my parents was pretty impromptu and I told him this. So I go over to his house, he had just gotten out of the shower. This was the first time he had ever seen me fresh out of a shower with no make up on so I was a little nervous. He hadn’t eaten yet so we left to get food. As we got, he ate while I watched tv and talked to me.

After he finished eating he laid on the couch with me and had me lay on his chest. As usual, we started kissing but kept it fairly controlled. I’ve noticed he really likes just to be kissed on, like his face, neck and places like that. So I’d occasionally kiss him like that. Well eventually one thing leads to another and I am on top of him while we kiss. He keeps his hand on the outside of my pants but rubs my clit, which he knows drives me wild. He does this and at first I was trying not to have an orgasm but he quietly tells me, “Come for me,” and I do that. It’s the first time I had actually let myself do that with him in a while. I, of course, return the favor and give him a blow job. There is something about doing that to him that drives me crazy, I’ve always really enjoyed giving BJs but with him it’s like I can’t get enough.

Unfortunately I had to leave shortly after all this in order for nothing to seem suspicious. I get back to the house and we text for a little while.

One thing I’ve noticed with the Russian is after we’ve been together he gets shy or something for a day or so. The next day, we didn’t talk until later that afternoon. It’s as if he feels weird afterwards or waits for me to talk to him. And I’m old fashioned and pretty stubborn so I normally won’t say anything. The next day, Tuesday, we were off from work and I literally didn’t hear from him till later that afternoon but we talk normal. The next day, which was Wednesday, has become I guess our usual hang out nights. Well I didn’t hear anything from him but sent him a text about how slow the day was going and he joked around with me about it and that was it…until later.

Him: “Totally forgot today was Wednesday…”

Me: “Oh did you?”

Him: “You didn’t”

Me: “I’m well aware of what day it is lol”

Him: “I didn’t get the hint when you texted at 3:30. I was stupid busy and went straight from work to get a massage after work”

Me: “Lol I just figured you were busy and had plans”

Him: “I just got home”

I then asked him how his massage went and all that. I then make a comment and say it’s his own fault he’s home alone.

Him: “You could’ve reminded me snob!”

Me: “Snob? That’s not nice. And I honestly didn’t think you wanted to so I didn’t mention it lol”

Him: “That’s not the case at all.”

Me: “Well not to sound too forward but if you don’t have plans I can probably hang out tomorrow.”

Him: “You need to get your own place!  ____ and I are both off Friday so we’re gonna either grill and drink or go to ______ or something and eat.”

I then tell him that I know that and I have plans to go look at houses the next week. So we start a discussion about houses, location and what I’m looking for. And then after we talk for a little while longer we both go the sleep.

The next afternoon he tells me he thought he saw me in the hallway so he decided to make a funny face but it wasn’t me it was another woman in the office. She kind of has the same hair color as me and is tallish. He was asking if other people confused us and I said a few have but she is married. When I mentioned I notice wedding rings on people he made a comment and I asked what he meant:

Him: “Because rings mean you can fool around and the won’t tell on you?”

Me: “Uh no lol I think once you’re at that level of a relationship of being engaged or married you shouldn’t feel the need to fool around at all. Of course, the doesn’t stop people but still.”

Him: “Good answer”

Me: “That’s not something you mess around with in my book.”

Him: “Agreed. Most people agree and cheat too though”

Me: “That’s just not my thing, once you’re committed like that you need to be open and honest if something is wrong. Worst case scenario you can go to therapy and work that shit out.”

Him: “Or even worse divorce…but don’t cheat”

Me: “Yeah if you’re at that point in the relationship just separate and divorce. But that’s like the very worst thing. I never want to go through a divorce.”

Him: “Me either coming from that”

Me: “Yeah me too.”

There are moments during our conversations that I feel he is trying to scope me out and see how I respond to things. Now I know I have other readers who currently are in affairs and I don’t judge you…look what I’m doing! That’s just my views on marriage, because I see my mom and stepdad’s marriage and I aspire to that greatly. I’d never want to cheat on my spouse or vice versa. I just wanted to clear that up! 🙂



Since that was Thursday night and I knew he would be out I didn’t really want to bother him with texting so I didn’t reach out to him. He did how ever text me much later that night.

Him: “Sup _____”

That was at 1 a.m. and he used a pretty derogative word knowing it would crack me up but I won’t share it here.

Him: “Really…”  He sent that at 2:15 a.m.

He knows I’m normally a night owl but I had taken some sleep aid so I could catch up on my sleep. I told him this when I woke up that morning.

We ended up talking throughout the day and quoting movies to each other. He eventually asks what my plans were for the night and I at that time didn’t have any. I asked him and he said he planned on being home since his friends were getting married the next ngiht. I asked if he wanted company and he said yes. Now this will be our first Friday hangout, either in a long time or even ever.

I was able to go over there on a Friday and we proceeded to hangout. When I got there it was about 6:45 p.m. and he was making drinks for us. I go inside and we decide on a movie we had talked about earlier.

The movie starts and we’re just drinking and laughing like we normally do. As it gets to certain parts we would say them at the same time and things like that. He always points that out to me, I’m pretty oblivious to it actually. Well as usual we start kissing each other and things progress. He ends up pulling me onto his lap and starts to play with my clit and causing me to have several orgasms; I of course return the favor to him. After this part he makes us more drinks and we talk about movies and what we will watch next. He gets one that I hadn’t seen before and we start watching it.

If things get sporadic, bear with me, I had been drinking that night. Well, I didn’t have a set curfew and the boyfriend didn’t seem that interested in where I was going or where I was so I barely heard from him.

During the second movie I am interested in it and we watch it seriously for a little while. Then things just kind of get crazy. We were playing with each other and I tried to tickle him again, he pulls me over his lap and proceeds to slap my ass. Now, I will say I love that. I’ve always enjoyed that and some hair pulling. Both of these facts he knows. So he proceeds to play with me and slapping my ass…quite hard too. To the point I’m on the verge of having another orgasm, he pulls my hair and slaps my ass a few more times until I come. I then get out of his lap and kneel in front of him to give him a blow job. As I’m mid BJ he’s telling me how pretty I look doing that, etc. And then he stops me and pulls me on top of him saying, “Come here to me” and lays me down on him. To which we fall asleep like that, his arms wrapped around me and me curled up on him. Eventually we get up and he takes me to his bed.

This is where things get interesting. He takes his pants off and pulls my shirt off (the bra has long been removed at this point). He puts me on top of him where I proceed to grind on him as if we were having sex. He’s touching me all over, but I still don’t let him into my pants. So we roll around on the bed together, touching each other and kissing. At one point though, he proceeds to pull my pants down and puts his dick in my pants. I believe I literally said, “Whoa!” and he said the usual, “I’m not going to try and fuck you, I just want to feel you near me.” And I told him he needs to not do that because it’s just teasing the both of us.

Eventually, I’m laying on my side and he’s behind me cuddling me. And of course, we end up falling asleep together. I don’t wake up until he squeezes my arm and asks me what time it is. That’s when I realize it is 3:30 in the morning. I check my phone and the boyfriend texted me only once. So I gather all my stuff and get ready to leave. He hugs me and kisses me goodnight, telling me he doesn’t want me to leave but to be careful.

I get home and the boyfriend is passed out asleep. I get into bed and go to sleep. I wake up in the morning after the boyfriend has left that morning. And thankfully I did wait, because the Russian left bruises in the shape of a hand on my right ass cheek!!

Now we fast forward through the day, and as usual he doesn’t really talk to me the next day which I’m fine with. But he texts me late that night after the wedding and in his usual fashion he tells me he’s “waiting on me” and causes me to think.

The next we talk some but it isn’t a whole lot. I did inform him he left a mark on me and he seemed fairly pleased with himself over that fact (men). During this week we’ve talked more and when Wednesday came along he told me he was going to have dinner with his dad that night. I was fine with that and even told him it was okay with me.

Later that night he tells me he wished he would have cancelled dinner so he could have spent time with me…this definitely caught me off guard.

And tonight I will be seeing the Russian again and I’m sure it’ll be an interesting night again. Is it bad that I can’t wait just to see him? And that I can’t wait to smell him and feel his arms around me.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m officially in trouble.