I feel like I need to get something off my chest. Especially since I’m not sure if it would be something I could tell the Russian at this point in the relationship. I’ve been doing a lot of research and thinking about D/S relationships. I know my personality well enough to realize that while I am a wild, smart ass and rambunctious young woman I really crave the type of relationship that can give the control, protection and guidance of a Dom. Now, I believe the Russian could be that way. He’s already implied to me several times in regards to my smart ass tendencies that I just haven’t been with the right person who can keep me in line. He also, as you know in previous posts, likes to be more in control of me when we are together.
It’s hard to explain because as much as I would like to experience something more like that it scares me. Mainly because I’ve never had anyone do the things he’s done to me so it has opened my mind up. Of course I’ve had my ass slapped but he’s the first one to put me over his lap to do it, the first one to grab my face and tell me to be a good girl or to even pull my hair in a way that lets me know he’s in control. All of things I just can’t get enough of, to the point I want to ask for it. How do I tell him I love to call him “Sir” when we are in the moment and I want him to go further with some of the things we already do? I can easily see that side of him but I wonder if he’s afraid to hurt me? He always stops if I tell him to but he knows my limits too so he’s never actually hurt me.
Would it be something I’d want in my everyday life, I’m not sure. It would be fun because I love to smart off to him and know he’s going to do something to me later about it. But with the other parts of my personality I don’t know, I sometimes hate being told what to do and have someone dictate my life…is it possible to have both? Or am I just out of my mind?
If there is anyone out there with real experience with these types of relationships or just has advice please feel free to let me know your thoughts!