I’m Scared You’ll Forget About Me

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I’m officially paranoid I may have messed things up with the Russian over the weekend. Maybe I didn’t and I’m making a bigger deal of things but I’m not sure.

Friday night we didn’t see each other but we talked most of the day and night. The next day I spent getting things arranged for my move and did stuff around my house all day and afternoon. While we were talking we decided to see each other that night for our usual thing. I picked up food and more alcohol since he was out. I got there and while we ate we watched the newest episodes of the show he got me hooked on until I was finally caught up. Admittedly, I was drinking faster than normal so I was slightly drunk early on.

We were flipping through the channels watching different things and joking around. To me he was acting a little distant and, thanks to dear alcohol, I voiced that he was acting weird and he said you always say that if I’m not all over you, I tell him it isn’t that but he needed to quit it. We joked around more and laughed it off. At some point, we were watching this thing that led us to have a discussion about politics and women. I’m all for talking about these things but not when I’m drinking. He was making me slightly annoyed and I kept saying I don’t want to have this argument right now but he kept on with it. I told him while I respect his opinions he was being slightly insulting in his comparisons and examples.

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We finally stopped talking about that and decided to watch a movie. We were playing with each other in his kitchen so things went back to normal. We started the movie and I was leaning on him. After a while he kept putting his hands on my face and playing with my lips, I grabbed his finger between my teeth and he made the comment “Oh is that all you got?” Wellllll…in my mind I barely bit down but apparently it was harder than I intended. He made a comment I hurt him and he was kind of pouting about it. I apologized to him and all that jazz. I could tell he was annoyed so I leaned to the other side of the couch to keep watching the movie. He started to get more playful with me after a while so I felt better.

I started to notice he was getting tired, it was fairly late, so I just mentioned I can leave if he’s ready to go to bed. He told me he didn’t want me to leave he was just yawning. Well a little later he asked if I wouldn’t mind heating up my leftovers for him. I told him I didn’t mind so I heated the food up for him and brought it into the living room. After he ate he decided he wanted to try out his new mattress and asked me to come try it too. When he got in it he felt one side and then the other and said, “Yep this is my side of the bed” and pulled me close to him. As I’ve said before he prefers to be “little spoon” but would hold onto my arm and lace his legs over mine. Well after a little while we both fell asleep. I didn’t plan on it since I wasn’t tired but it is a comfy bed. I woke up after almost two hours and was, well, horny.

I reached my hand down and started to touch his member. He started to groan a little but didn’t wake up, I kept on with it until I had his pants undone. Eventually I rolled him over and started to suck on him. He woke up at that point. After a little while he pulled me up and said he had to go to the bathroom. When he came back he laid down again but just pulled me back against his back. He positioned me a certain way so I took that as he didn’t want to continue on since he was tired. I didn’t try anything else but I did roll over because I got hot. Probably two seconds after I rolled over he reached over and started rubbing his hand over my ass and then stuck his hand down the back of my shorts. He then pulled his hand out and rolled me over. He then put my arm a certain way around him and then put my legs around his. I wasn’t sure about what he wanted but I whispered that he was killing me with this.

He played all shy but then stood up and turned some music on so it wouldn’t be so quiet. He came back and resumed the same position he was in earlier but this time he put his hand down my shorts and proceeded to give me an orgasm and then another. At some point he rolled over and I started to suck his dick again. After doing so for a little while he pulled me up and asked me, “Do you want to keep sucking my dick or do you want me to fuck you?” I told him I always want to do both but it was up to him. He then grabbed onto my hair and said, “What do you want?” I then told him I wanted to fuck him. I reached into his drawer and pulled out a condom and the lube. I resumed sucking his dick until he put lube on my hand. I rubbed the lube on him while he got the condom ready, I stopped while he put it on.

I probably only have one thought, I can’t call it a complaint because I had way too many orgasms to complain. I’m always on top it feels like. Always. And it isn’t like he doesn’t do things while I am on top and I do enjoy being on top but sometimes a girl just wants to feel the weight of a man on top of her or even from behind. But I did get him to cum with me on top which I felt proud of doing. I have this one move I do that apparently drives him crazy and he kept asking me to do it the normal way I do and then at different angles.

We had sex for well over an hour, maybe almost two. Plenty of hair pulling, ass slapping and dirty talking all those things I love. Before he came he asked me that when he did cum if I would keep jacking him off till he was done. I almost was a smart ass and said, “If I let you cum on my face do think I’d say no to that?” I didn’t say that though. When he came he pulled himself out of me and I proceeded to do as he asked. We lay together for a little while after, I was laying on his chest trying to catch my breath and he held me like that.

When we got up I got dressed and got some water. It was almost 5 in the morning so I was starting to wonder if he’d ask me to stay or not. That was a no. He walked me out to my car and kissed me goodbye and told me to let him know that I made it back to the house.

I did but I knew I wouldn’t hear from him because it was so late and he’s even told me he always sees that I text him and he tries to text back but sometimes just falls asleep.

The next day I felt so stupid for my behavior. And maybe you don’t think it was that bad but I just feel like I messed up. We did talk Sunday night. He asked if I watched the newest episode, which I didn’t get to, and then we talked about my house. Monday he actually parked his truck right next to mine. Which was intentional because there were plenty of spots besides that one. Later that night after a stressful meeting I sent him a text:

Me: “These meetings make me want to shoot myself in the knee sometimes”

Him: “Not the face?”

Me: “The knee would be a better way to suffer…I don’t want to die lol”

But that was it. He didn’t ask about the meeting or anything. I haven’t heard anything from him I’m sure I will again but it causes me to think even more that I did something wrong and pissed him off. I don’t think he should be that mad over it, mainly because he does stuff to me I don’t like. Like touching my face or being drunk and saying dumb shit like he has before. Maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill but the fact we haven’t really talked doesn’t make me feel any better.

What are your thoughts? Ever do anything stupid like that and immediately regret doing it? How did you handle the situation afterward? 

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4 responses to “I’m Scared You’ll Forget About Me

  1. slashwritergirl

    Well, you were there, and I wasn’t… but from what you describe, it doesn’t seem like you messed anything up with the Russian. Even though you may have accidentally bitten him a little too hard, it seems like he got over it. He was still joking and playing around with you, you still had sex, and he told you he didn’t want you to leave. If you were voicing your opinion about politics, that’s okay. I know it can get awkward if you don’t agree, but also know that if you’re going to be in a relationship, he’s going to eventually find out where you stand on some things, and shouldn’t expect you to just agree with him because he’s your boyfriend. I’m a lot like you, though, so I probably would have been paranoid about the same things you are. However, I think it’s probably nothing. When you move into your own place, I think it will get better too, because you won’t feel like you HAVE to leave and go back home, and can stay the whole night. It seems like that is what he wants too. When’s the big moving day?

    • I think I’m sure I may just be making a bigger deal than I should but it’s still hard not to think maybe I did something wrong. I’m sure I will hear from him eventually this week or next. And the big day will hopefully be at the beginning of July! I’m so excited for it to finally happen. I’ll be on my own again which I have always loved and I’ll have more free time for myself. Plus, we can finally see how the Russian decides to handle things!

      • slashwritergirl

        I have been there. What an exciting time! 🙂 It will be here before you know it! I can so relate to your situation though. I have often said or done things that I later regretted and was paranoid I made someone mad. One time I got pissed because I was wanting some sexual attention from this guy, and when he came over, I was very attentive to him, but he had his orgasm and didn’t return the favor! I was so pissed because the whole reason for him coming over was so that I could get off. LOL. So I texted him in a joking way that he owed me an orgasm, and he said, “Okay. LOL.” I was still annoyed so I said. “Seriously. A big one.” And he said, “Gee, okay. Sounds like you didn’t enjoy yourself.” Then I kind of joked and laughed it off in a replied text, and NO ANSWER. I texted him again later, no answer. I felt so bad like I had hurt his feelings or something. I felt like such a bonehead. No pun intended. LOL.

  2. Lol! I have those moments when I think back to something I said or did and I will physically cringe! The Russian talking to me more now and we did encounter and awkward office run in yesterday but I think he realized I was annoyed with him so he reached out to me.

    I have been wondering if he really did just want to cuddle that night. I know I get super grouchy if I don’t get mine during sex and I’ve told the Russian that so hopefully he never tries to pull that during sex!! Lol!

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