I think the saddest thing about wanting to hear from someone is when you do…and then you don’t.
The Russian has appeared in my message box again it seems, like I knew he would. Late Friday morning I was leaving the office to go run errands and take lunch when my phone vibrated. I had been texting back and forth with one of my friends so I assumed it was them so I opened my messages. To my surprise it was him. Telling me to slow down in the parking lot….again. We exchanged a few texts back and forth about my driving and that was it.
I had that feeling he was going to text me later so I left my phone’s ringer on and what do you know. He texted me.
Him: “Wake uuuuuup!”
Me: “What you hollering for?!”
Him: “To wake you up son”
Me: “I am up son”
Him: “Why? Out?”
Him: “Grinding on some other old man?”
Me: “Negative, I was up doing nerd activities lol”
Me: “Yep lol reeeeeading”
Me: “Why are you up?”
(This is when I realize he was drinking)
Him: “Ooooo no”
Him: “Absolutely nuuuuhhhhthing”
Him: “What is it good for”
Him: “Hm hm hm hm hmmm hm”
Me: “Hahahaha is someone slightly intoxicated?”
Him: “I knew you’d reply with that question”
Me: “What are ya, psychic or something?”
Him: “Feed your lawn…feed it”
Me: “Lol where did that come from?”
This all happened after 2 am, I tend to be a night owl and have problems sleeping. He is aware of this and has some of the same problems. I’m not sure what to think about his “grinding on some other old man” comment. To me, he shouldn’t even care if he is just playing games with me. Well he apparently passed out and I didn’t hear anything from him Saturday at all. Which I expected, I feel like I’m starting to understand him and his moves.
Come Sunday he texted me about a show and we talked a little back and forth. I sent him a funny meme and he responded with a “Lol” and I didn’t send anything back. I messaged him after the show and asked how it was. We talked a little back and forth. He asked if I watched it and I replied I hadn’t because I was watching some other shows. We spoke a little more and then that was it.
I don’t understand this man at all. I literally want to shake the shit out of him until he tells me the truth. I have no doubt he will text me more and then want to see me. That will be my one opportunity to ask him about what is going and what exactly this is between us. I should be able to see his reaction and know if he’s being honest or just bullshitting me. I can’t ask over the phone because it is too easy to deceive someone that way.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
The pathetic part? I was so happy he was texting me again. Why??? I should be pissed and tell him off, but I can’t find the urge to be mean to him. Why? He’s treated me so wrong and I have a right to be pissed. I mean, since he pulled this shit the first time I’ve had that right. And hell, he knows it too. I look forward to being able to have an honest talk with him one day, as I’ve said, I’m sure he will want to see me again.
What do you think? Is this all just a player’s game that he’s starting all over again or is there something lying underneath the surface?