I hadn’t realized how much time had gone by since my last post! And quite a bit has happened since then it’s kind of crazy.
After I last spoke to the Russian on my birthday we didn’t speak for about a week or so I think. Well he slowly started texting me again and on the first day he brought up the fact he still had my movies. But it was a small conversation. The next day or so we talked pretty much the whole day, at some point in the conversation he asked if I was still house hunting. Which I still am but I have to do it secretly so that makes it harder. And we continued having a conversation about various topics after that. The next day he saw me walking and sent a text basically saying “Jean day huh :)” We had a short conversation that day and then he ran into me in the mailroom, which was kind of awkward. He sent me a text saying I seemed snappy to him and I told him I wasn’t being snappy. I honestly didn’t think I was but hey, I can’t always help the tone in my voice. So that was a Friday, I didn’t talk to him over the weekend but come Monday he texted me and this is how that conversation went:
Him: “When you gonna drop by to pick up your movies and see the new crib?”
Me: “Well it’s just wenever it will be convienant for you”
Him: “Is this a brief visit or would you like to watch a flick and have a drink?”
Me: “Lol once again it is whatever is convienant for you”
Him: “I’m not the one with specific windows for escape lol”
Him: “But plan on drinks and a flick though”
Me: “Haha! Alright well this week or next?”
Me: “Wednesday should work”
Well a little later I was talking about me driving in a particular city and how I was kind of good at it.
Him: “You’re in ____? I’m going tomorrow for a check up appt.”
Me: “Yeah I came over last night. I had a meeting for work I had to be at.”
Him: “Too bad it’s not tomorrow”
Me: “And why is that?”
Him: “Oh no reason”
Me: “Oh okay lol”
Me: “Uh how am I a tease?”
Him: “Just are”
So as you can imagine my surprise by all that went on in this conversation, it was not what I had been expecting. Well the next day I didn’t really hear from him. He did send me a picture of a movie he was watching, which is my favorite movie (and he knows this). So come Wednesday afternoon I hadn’t heard anything so I figured I needed to see if he was still planning on having me come over.
Me: “Should I still plan on coming by tonight?”
Him: “If you’d still like to”
Me: “Lol alright, what’s a good time?”
Him: “What you laughing at woman lol? I don’t have plans so whenever…the earlier you come, the longer we can watch the movie before you go.”
Me: “I’m laughing at you, I can probably come at like 6ish or so.”
Him: “Cool, that early…works for me. Might even get two in depending on what time you have to leave.”
Me: “I’d probably have to leave at 10:30ish.”
Well after that discussion I ran into him in a fellow employee’s office which was awkward to the extreme. My face turned red and he called me out on it when he texted me, I just played it off. So he asked me if I still planned on coming at 6 and I told him I did.
Him: “Eating before?”
Me: “Um probably not”
Him: “K I’m gonna shower and we can go get something.”
So as I’m driving to his house I have no idea what to expect or say because until this point I have not had a one on one conversation with him since we last had spent time together in November. When I get there are park my car in the garage, get out and walk to the door. He opens it and I walk into his house, he instantly leans in to give me a hug and I give one of those weird “I don’t want to really hug you hugs” where I keep my arms kind of tensed up. So he shows me around the house and all that jazz. Then he asks me about dinner, I tell him to just order me what he usually does from this restaurant and he tells me he really likes that too but doesn’t want to order two things of it. I just say well it’s whatever you want to do. So he places the order and we are sitting on the couch flipping through channels on the tv kind of wasting time. We get up to pick out the movie for the night and we have some usual banter between us, I make fun of his movie collection and he makes fun of my taste.
So when it comes time to get the food I get in his truck with him to go get. This is where the conversation gets interesting.
Him: “So do you want an explanation for what happened?”
Me: “It is really whatever at this point. I don’t really need to hear your explanation.” (When in reality of course I did).
Him: “Well it will make me feel better if I can just tell you and get that straight.”
Me: “Okay then, explain.”
Well he goes on to tell me that we were spending so much time together and that it was becoming not a matter of if we would get caught but just when and he didn’t want me to get in trouble and have drama and that he didn’t want drama. So when I asked him about us staying the night together back in November he claims he legitimately had to work on his house and that when I responded okay to him saying that he thought I was mad so he wanted me to cool off. Then he said once the weekend had gone by and he spent the entire time working he had realized we hadn’t spoken and knew I was probably mad. He then says that when I cold shouldered him in the office he realized just how pissed I was and didn’t want to make things worse by trying to explain and then I shut him down. So after he explains and says all this:
Me: “I’m not going to lie I was kind of angry with you, and while I’m glad you gave me time to get over it you should have handled it better. I’m the type of person if I feel you don’t want to speak to me then I won’t waste my time speaking to you. And I felt that way with you so I just didn’t say anything either. But I will say if you would have tried to talk to me like this earlier I probably would have been mean to you.”
So we get that out there and go get the food. We spent the ride talking about house hunting and things like that. He tells me more about his house and those plans. We get back to the house and we eat while watching tv together. He puts the channel on one of the shows he knows I really like. After we get done eating he goes to make us drinks and realizes he was out of something, so he goes and gets it real quick and comes back. He makes us drinks and we put a movie on.
Okay so we are sitting on the couch he is on one side kind of laid back with his feet up and I’m sitting in the middle of the couch with my legs tucked underneath me. As the movie starts he kind of explains a few details to me and we watch in silence. He then reaches over, grabs my hand and kisses it saying, “I have to be sweet to you.” I roll my eyes and he puts our hands down on the couch while holding my hand. Eventually we get into what I would say is our usual smart ass repertoire with each other. He then, very smoothly, playfully puts me in a headlock and then positions me to where I’m leaning against him. So I stay like that and he proceeds to play with my hair, arms and face. Well we finish our first drinks so he gets up to make more. When he comes back he repositions himself to where I’ll be laying completely back on him while he’s seated up. He then takes my hand and arm to play with it.
Him: “I didn’t think I would miss you this much.”
Me: “Oh well thanks, I guess.”
Him: “You know I don’t mean it like that. I knew I would miss you but I didn’t think hanging out like this would make me realize just how much.”
Me: “Well I’m glad then.”
He makes some joke and we laugh and continue watching the movie. Throughout the movie we would either say the same thing at certain scenes or do a hand gesture, to which he says that’s weird I don’t remember us every doing that together. I remind myself he is a charmer and to just play it off. He eventually turns my head around and brings his cheek to my lips so I kiss his cheek, which sadly I do. He then talks about the next time we will hang out and what we will have to watch.
He starts playing with my cheeks and kind of squishes them together and I tell him to stop I’ve got big cheeks and I don’t like that. He then proceeds to tell me to stop and just let him do it, I keep resisting him and then he tells me how beautiful I am and I shouldn’t be weird like this. Well he turns my head towards him and grabs my face, while squeezing my cheeks and kisses me. This is when we started slowly kissing each other more. Now then he says his usual stuff, I don’t understand why you are even attracted to me because you’re so much better looking. I just glare at him and roll my eyes to which he kisses me again. He then turns me around to rub my back and then removes my bra, he did ask if that was okay and sadly I said yes. So he proceeds to fondle me and then goes back to playing with my hair.
The movie gets closer to ending and we start to really make out again, he attempts to touch me over my pants and I don’t let him. I remind him that he has to earn that privilege all over again. He was kind of shocked by that, but I’m not going to just give that up again. So after some more kissing we watch the end of the movie. After it ends we pretty much just make out pretty heavily. Eventually we come up for air and he turns the television back on. We start talking about a particular sport that is on and some players. Some how we get on the topic of a particular celebrity and I tell him how beautiful I think she is and he gives me a crazy look and says:
“Are you serious? She is not pretty at all. You are so much prettier than her.”
Me: “Oh no don’t even, she’s gorgeous and I wish I was that pretty.”
Him: (touching my face) “Your face is so well proportioned. Beautiful cheekbones, cute nose, pretty eyes. You’re the beautiful one.”
I kind of get taken aback by this and just laugh at him.
Then one thing leads to another and I’m touching his not so little, little Russian. Then I start to perform a certain sexual act on him. I know, I couldn’t believe it was happening either. As it is progressing he is telling me the usual sweet things then at one point he’s standing and I’m kneeling in front of him and he says, “You have the most beautiful eyes.” Then I’m like oh great here we go. Well as we are continuing on the phone rings. The boyfriend is calling to see if I’m okay. I quickly answer it saying I’m still out with friends. I apologize to the Russian and I realize I probably need to go soon but he kisses me so intensely and then things resume until the finale. We kiss a lot more and then I say I’ve got to leave before I get in trouble. So we kiss bye and he tells me to text him when I make it home if I can.
I get home, tell him I made and he just tells me alright and good night.
I still can’t get over how this happened again. I honestly feel like it is either going to go two ways. One, things will go forward like before and we will eventually get back to where we were and maybe progress from there. Or two, things will go forward like before and he will pull the same stuff.
Well the day after this happened (yesterday) he sent me a screenshot of something we had talked about that night and we joked about it for a while.
He asked if I liked the movie and I said I actually did and was surprised.
Him: “Not sure you were paying attention at the end”
Me: “Well someone kept distracting me”
Me: “You heard me!”
Him: “Don’t yell at me!!”
Me: “I do what I want! And you know you were distracting me”
Him: “Maybe a little”
Me: “Lol oh just a little bit?”
Him: “No idea what you’re talking about”
Me: “Is that right?!”
Then I didn’t really talk to him that night, but as it turns out he had taken his grandmother to the movies. Well before I knew that I asked him if he had liked last night:
Me: “Good, just checking”
Him: “Did you?”
Me: “For lack of a better word, obviously!”
Me: “Oh don’t hate”
After this conversation he tells me about the movie and we discuss it and all that jazz. But nothing since then not that I’m being weird about it. I’ll give him his time and see what happens but as I said earlier I can’t believe what happened did happen. I had expected to maybe kiss a little if we got to that point. What sucks is that I hadn’t realized how much I had missed him too, not just the sexual stuff but just talking about whatever and joking around. Now I’m pretty much back at square one all over again.
Now I really have to figure out not only what to do about the boyfriend situation but also what to do about myself. Thankfully I’ll be going out of town for a few days soon and can have some time to figure this stuff out, maybe. I did get my movies back though which is a plus of sorts.
Until next time! I promise not to wait so long next time!